Stop Trying to Change Yourself - Mark Manson

You can't change yourself, so don't even try, I know that's not what the infomercials and self-help seminars tell you, but fuck it, they're wrong.

Why can't you change yourself, because the whole idea of change is an arbitrary constructs, it's something you just made up to make yourself feel good or bad. 

When people lay around whining to their therapists and ex-wives that they're finally going to change themselves, they are promising something imaginary and made-up, if they used to lie and now they stop lying, have they changed? Are they permanently and irrevocably fixed? Will they never lie again, and even if they don't, will it matter, please tell us, millions of pissed-off ex-wives would like to know.

We don’t know what change is because we don’t know what the hell we are. If I wake up tomorrow and do the exact opposite of everything I do today, am I a changed person? Or am I simply the same person who decided to try something different?

Here’s the problem with using the word “change:” it gets your identity involved. And when you get your identity involved, you become really emotionally attached to imaginary things. You throw fits and beat yourself up and blame others and decide that you are, in fact, a worthless piece of shit who has no hope in this world.

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