chapter 59

-chapter 59-

This letter revived in my memory what I had before forgotten, the threat of

the fiend—“_I will be with you on your

wedding-night!_” Such was my sentence, and on that night would the

dæmon employ every art to destroy me and tear me from the glimpse of

happiness which promised partly to console my sufferings. On that night he

had determined to consummate his crimes by my death. Well, be it so; a

deadly struggle would then assuredly take place, in which if he were

victorious I should be at peace and his power over me be at an end. If he

were vanquished, I should be a free man. Alas! What freedom? Such as the

peasant enjoys when his family have been massacred before his eyes, his

cottage burnt, his lands laid waste, and he is turned adrift, homeless,

penniless, and alone, but free. Such would be my liberty except that in my

Elh I possessed a treasure, alas, balanced by those horrors of

remorse and guilt which would pursue me until death.

Sweet and beloved Elh! I read and reread her letter, and some

softened feelings stole into my heart and dared to whisper paradisiacal

dreams of love and joy; but the apple was already eaten, and the

angel’s arm bared to drive me from all hope. Yet I would die to make

her happy. If the monster executed his threat, death was inevitable; yet,

again, I considered whether my marriage would hasten my fate. My

destruction might indeed arrive a few months sooner, but if my torturer

should suspect that I postponed it, influenced by his menaces, he would

surely find other and perhaps more dreadful means of revenge. He had vowed

_to be with me on my wedding-night_, yet he did not consider that

threat as binding him to peace in the meantime, for as if to show me that

he was not yet satiated with blood, he had murdered Clerval immediately

after the enunciation of his threats. I resolved, therefore, that if my

immediate union with my cousin would conduce either to hers or my

father’s happiness, my adversary’s designs against my life

should not retard it a single hour.

In this state of mind I wrote to Elh.  My letter was calm and

affectionate.  “I fear, my beloved girl,” I said, “little happiness

remains for us on earth; yet all that I may one day enjoy is centred in

you.  Chase away your idle fears; to you alone do I consecrate my life

and my endeavours for contentment.  I have one secret, Elh, a

dreadful one; when revealed to you, it will chill your frame with

horror, and then, far from being surprised at my misery, you will only

wonder that I survive what I have endured.  I will confide this tale of

misery and terror to you the day after our marriage shall take place,

for, my sweet cousin, there must be perfect confidence between us.  But

until then, I conjure you, do not mention or allude to it.  This I most

earnestly entreat, and I know you will comply.”

In about a week after the arrival of Elh’s letter we returned

to Geneva. The sweet girl welcomed me with warm affection, yet tears were

in her eyes as she beheld my emaciated frame and feverish cheeks. I saw a

change in her also. She was thinner and had lost much of that heavenly

vivacity that had before charmed me; but her gentleness and soft looks of

compassion made her a more fit companion for one blasted and miserable as I

was.

The tranquillity which I now enjoyed did not endure. Memory brought madness

with it, and when I thought of what had passed, a real insanity possessed

me; sometimes I was furious and burnt with rage, sometimes low and

despondent. I neither spoke nor looked at anyone, but sat motionless,

bewildered by the multitude of miseries that overcame me.

Elh alone had the power to draw me from these fits; her gentle voice

would soothe me when transported by passion and inspire me with human

feelings when sunk in torpor. She wept with me and for me. When reason

returned, she would remonstrate and endeavour to inspire me with

resignation. Ah! It is well for the unfortunate to be resigned, but for the

guilty there is no peace. The agonies of remorse poison the luxury there is

otherwise sometimes found in indulging the excess of grief.

Soon after my arrival my father spoke of my immediate marriage with

Elh. I remained silent.

“Have you, then, some other attachment?”

“None on earth.  I love Elh and look forward to our union with

delight.  Let the day therefore be fixed; and on it I will consecrate

myself, in life or death, to the happiness of my cousin.”

“My dear Victor, do not speak thus.  Heavy misfortunes have befallen

us, but let us only cling closer to what remains and transfer our love

for those whom we have lost to those who yet live.  Our circle will be

small but bound close by the ties of affection and mutual misfortune.

And when time shall have softened your despair, new and dear objects of

care will be born to replace those of whom we have been so cruelly

deprived.”

Such were the lessons of my father.  But to me the remembrance of the

threat returned; nor can you wonder that, omnipotent as the fiend had

yet been in his deeds of blood, I should almost regard him as

invincible, and that when he had pronounced the words “_I shall be with

you on your wedding-night_,” I should regard the threatened fate as

unavoidable.  But death was no evil to me if the loss of Elh were

balanced with it, and I therefore, with a contented and even cheerful

countenance, agreed with my father that if my cousin would consent, the

ceremony should take place in ten days, and thus put, as I imagined,

the seal to my fate.

（1028）

今日短语

1. centre in sth. 以...为中心

2. allude to 影射，暗指

3. be bewildered by... 为...所困惑

4. look forward to sth. （兴奋地）期待，盼望

5. cling to sth. 紧握，坚持...

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