5 Written Contract

You're not fit to pour me bathtub booze
You don't deserve me
You're not fit to lick my wingtip shoes
You just unnerve me

Since I haven't learned when no means no, Babe
I'm gonna tempt your brain with quid pro quo, Babe
A written contract--

[NATHAN]
"A written contract?"

[RICHARD]
Spelling out what you will do for me
Participation
In my crimes, no matter what degree
For compensation

I'll agree to any terms you lay out
So that means when you ask I'll have no way out

A written contract
Here's your chance to make things legal at last
In plain black and white
We can let the past remain in the past
And have no more reason to fight

I'll even let you type the whole thing out
Each key provision
Wipe away that look of fear and doubt
Make a decision

Don't hold out, you'll get no better offer
'Cause it's the only option I can proffer

A formal contract, a written contract
Will help to get you yours, and I’ll get mine
But you'll never be my equal
If you don't promise me you'll sign

Now comes the good part

All I have to do is take the knife
And gently puncture the skin

And once the blood has dried
The terms will begin
Try not to drip on the floor

[NATHAN]
Now our lives will be--

[NATHAN/RICHARD]
Entwined completely, our friendship's now redefined
Rethought and revised

[NATHAN]
No turning back now since our blood's been combined

[RICHARD]
But not till it's been notarized

[NATHAN/RICHARD]
And no one has to know our business deal
We'll keep it hidden
All attempts to break our private seal
Will be forbidden

It's the same old game with one new feature
And next semester you can show your teacher

A simple contract, a written contract
The clauses not misleading, the print not fine
And I hope the contract is the answer to finally keeping you in line