Love love, love.
爱情。
What's your relationship like?
你们的关系如何？
Have you ever felt like being manipulated or felt like your opinion wasn't worth as much as your partners?
你是否曾经觉得自己被人操纵，或者觉得自己的意见不如另一半的有价值？
These are just a few potential things to consider when evaluating whether your partner may be a narcissist.
这些就是在评估你的伴侣是否自恋时需要考虑的一些潜在因素。
But first, what is a narcissist?
但首先，什么是自恋？
A narcissist is incredibly interested in themselves.
自恋的人对自己非常感兴趣。
Everything is about them.
（觉得）一切都与他们有关。
A narcissist feels the world revolves around them, and they may even have you in the palm of their hand. But a relationship is something that should be mutually beneficial.
自恋的人会觉得世界围绕着他们转，他们甚至会把你掌控在手中。但是一段关系应该是互惠互利的。
So here is 6 signs that you may be dating a narcissist.
以下是你可能在和自恋人格恋爱的6种迹象。
Sign number one is that you feel like your love was bought.
第一个迹象是，你觉得你的爱是买来的。
Initially, when you meet a narcissist, they can very easily sweep you off your feet.
一开始，当你遇到一个自恋者时，他们很容易让你神魂颠倒。
Narcissists can be incredibly charming and overly romantic.
自恋者可能非常迷人，也可能过于浪漫。
They do this to make you head over hills, so they can manipulate you later.
他们这样做是为了让你越走越远，这样以后他们就可以操纵你了。
This is the chocolate cake model of narcissism.
这就象征着自恋者的巧克力蛋糕。
At first, chocolate cake is exciting.
首先，巧克力蛋糕令人兴奋。
But after eating it, you don't feel as good as you would after eating healthy foods.
但是吃了它之后，你会感觉不如吃健康食品之后那么好。
However, the healthy foods don't have the same initial excitement.
然而，健康食品并没有最初的兴奋感。
Sign number two is that you feel they will do anything to get what they want.
第二个迹象是，你觉得他们会为了得到想要的东西而不择手段。
It may feel like your voice is ignored, or that your opinion matters less than theirs.
你可能会觉得你的声音被忽视了，或者你的意见没有他们的重要。
They may even get upset if they don't get their way.
如果没能如愿，他们甚至可能会生气。
This is not how a healthy relationship should work.
健康的关系不应该是这样的。
Compromise is a huge key in a healthy relationship.
互相妥协是一段健康关系的关键。
Sign number three is that one of their favourite conversation topics is themselves.
第三个迹象是他们最喜欢的话题之一就是他们自己。
They brag, they boast.
他们吹嘘自己，侃侃而谈。
And while having self-confidence is great, narcissists exaggerate their achievements.
虽然有自信很好，但自恋者夸大了他们的成就。
They even put others down because they think it makes themselves better.
他们甚至会贬低别人，因为他们认为这样能让自己变得更好。
Sign number four is that narcissists don't think rules apply to them.
第四个迹象是，自恋者认为规则不适用于他们。
They budget in lines.
他们斤斤计较。
They can even be rude to people they don't know.
他们甚至会对不认识的人无礼。
Narcissists really believe they're above the law and having undeserving feeling of authority.
自恋者认为自己凌驾于法律之上，有一种不值得拥有的权威感。
Sign number five is that you personally feel like you're being manipulated.
迹象五是，你个人感觉自己被操纵了。
Manipulation can take many forms. Maybe you find ourselves apologizing when you don't want to, or that you're being guilt tripped.
操纵可以采取多种形式。也许你发现自己在不想道歉的时候道歉了，或者你被内疚感打倒了。
Both of these could happen by your partner, pretending to be the victim in any situation that suits them, making you feel guilty and then apologizing.
这两种情况都可能发生在你的伴侣身上，在任何适合他们的情况下，假装自己是受害者，让你感到内疚，然后道歉。
Regardless of how your feeling manipulated, manipulation is never okay.
不管你的感觉是如何被操纵的，被操纵永远都是不对的。
Finally, the sixth sign is that narcissists lack empathy.
最后，第六种迹象是自恋者缺乏同理心。
Empathy is the ability to understand how people are feeling.
同理心是理解别人感受的能力。
Narcissists don't understand your feelings, and they don't care.
自恋者不理解你的感受，他们也不在乎。
They may even see people, including yourself, as objects to their means.
他们甚至可能把别人，包括你自己，视为他们手段的对象。
Everything they do is to promote their own happiness.
他们所做的一切都是为了促成自己的幸福。
Sociopaths are in many ways similar to narcissists, but the key difference is that sociopaths know what they're doing, and they don't need validation constantly.
反社会者在许多方面与自恋者相似，但关键的区别是反社会者知道他们在做什么，他们不需要经常得到认可。
They wait for a big payoff, unlike a narcissist who constantly wants attention.
他们等待着巨大的回报，不像自恋者总是想要得到关注。
Everything is in the moment for them.
仿佛一切都是为他们准备的。
