作为怀雅逊大学的体育主任和足球校队主教练,约瑟夫教授经常被人问起他招收运动员时看重哪些特点:速度?力量?还是灵巧性?在这次演讲中,约瑟夫博士解释了什么是自信,以及为什么自信不仅对运动生涯,更对我们的生活来说至关重要。
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in my past life as a soccer coach once
you win a national championship
everybody wants to come play for you
really not true once you pay them
$25,000 a year in scholarships everybody
wants to come play for you and parents
would always come to me and they'd say
okay I my son or my daughter wants to
come play at your University what is it
that we have to do you know what are you
looking for and being the Socratic
professor that I am well what does your
son or daughter do what do they do
really well that we'd be interested in
and typically their answers are well
they've got great vision they're really
good they can see the entire field or my
daughter is the fastest player there's
nobody that can beat her or my son's got
a great left foot or really really great
in the air and can hit every ball like
yeah not bad but to be quite honest with
you those are the last things I'm
looking for the most important thing
self confidence without that skill and I
use the word skill intentionally without
that skill we are useless as a soccer
player because when you lose sight or
belief in yourself we're done for I use
the definition of self-confidence to be
the ability or the belief to believe in
yourself to accomplish any task no
matter the odds
no matter the difficulty no matter the
adversity the belief that you can
accomplish it self confidence so I'm
using a great I don't have it I'm so shy
out that one I'll never do good I'm
going and you start to drag all the way
down here but I used the word skill
because I believe it can be trained and
I'll show you a couple of ways which we
do hopefully I won't run out of time I
don't use any slides because my speech
always goes here or here or here so
we'll see which way we get to the
easiest way to build self-confidence
there's no magic button I can't say eh
this plane is going down who can fly it
put your hand up I can I'm confident
repetition repetition repetition right
what does Malcolm Gladwell call it the
10,000 hour rule there's no magic button
I recruited a goalie from Colombia South
America one year I big tall six foot
three man you know he had hands like
stone I thought he was like flipper
every time I throw him the ball down
down onto the ground I was like oh my
god we're in trouble
simple solution get to the wall kick a
ball against the wall and catch it kick
the ball against the wall and catch it
his goal was 350 a day for eight months
he came back his hands were callused the
moisture on his hands were literally
gone he is now playing in Europe magic
null repetition repetition repetition
the problem is we expect to be
self-confident but we can't be unless
the skill or the task we're doing is not
novel is not new to us we want to be in
a situation where we've created we've
had so much pressure in that and what I
mean cuz pressure builds diamonds we
want to be in the situation where hey
I've done this a thousand times I didn't
my speech I practice in front of the
mirror hey I'm sounding good and then I
read in front of my kids and my and my
wife like oh my gosh a little nervous
then you get in front of the Glenn cool
oh my goodness I'm a little more nervous
by the time I get to the ACG we're 2500
people can't say any more right 2,500
people
we're 2,500 people are there I won't
have a single ounce of nervousness
because of my ability to practice right
over and over and over again
the problem with repetition is how many
of us bail after the first a bit of
failure
how many us bail after the first bit of
adversity Edison was on that video it
depends who you ask is anywhere from one
1,000 to 10,000 tries to build that
lightbulb 1,000 to 10,000 JK Rowling
should be on that video you the army
publisher she took her Harry Potter book
- I believe the number was 12 or 13 I
don't I'm pretty confident but after two
or three noes I'd be like dang it after
six or seven I'm like maybe not
definitely after nine or ten I'd be
looking to be a soccer coach or
something else beside it often
right I mean 12 times somebody said no
but practice practice practice and do
not accept failure maybe it shouldn't be
repetition maybe the answer should be
persistence because we all repeat
something but very few of us really will
persist so that's one way to build
self-confidence get out there do what
you want to do and accept and do not
accept no the other one is self-talk we
all have a self top tape that plays in
our head
anybody go shopping and put on a pair of
pants this week if you're a woman the
first thing that always comes damn I
look fat in these pants and if you're a
man it's the opposite no muscle I'm so
flabby right we all have this tape that
plays in our head as a student if they
asked me the question it was like gosh
gee please the police professor don't
pick me I don't know the answer I don't
put I look down right if you're in the
when I let me tell you something and the
VP of Business Administration trapeze
this but when they hired me as an
athletic director I sat in an
architect's meeting and I am as bowed as
dumb as a post when it comes to anything
to do with numbers and angles and
they're like the Funday bellator valve
of the architectural there they're what
do you think dr. Joseph let me look into
that for you and get back to you right I
was God God please don't ask me please
don't ask me we all have this negative
self-talk that goes in our head guess
what there's enough people that are
telling us we can't do it that we're not
good enough why do we want to tell
ourselves that we know for a fact that
thoughts influence actions we saw it
there with the with the video Sheldon
dr. levy showed right we know that our
thoughts influence actions why do we
want to say that negative self-talk to
ourselves we need to get our own self
affirmations Muhammad Ali what was his
self affirmation I am the greatest who
else is going to tell you there's need
to be quiet moments in your bedroom
quiet moments when you're brushing your
teeth that we need to reaffirm I am the
captain of my ship and the master of my
fate that is my affirmation I came from
a school of 1,000 people I live
in a town of 1,000 people for 15 years
there's no reason that I should be in
charge of national debt apartment
building Maple Leaf Gardens but I am the
captain of my ship and the master of my
fate if I don't say it if I don't
believe it
no one else will how do you build
self-confidence get away from the people
who will tear you down there's enough of
that
Muhammad Ali I am the greatest there is
no one better than me it's a difference
between hubris and Eagle and false pride
it's just reminding yourself in quiet
silent moments I put it down on the list
it's right beside my mirror write about
all the things that make me who I am
because I make enough mistakes and the
newspapers will recognize it and people
around me will recognize it and they'll
tear me down and pretty soon I'll begin
to believe it there was a time when my
confidence was really low there was a
time when I took this job when I came
from Iowa I don't know if I could do it
I had to bring out my self-confidence
letter a letter I wrote to myself when I
was feeling good Ivan congratulations on
getting your PhD before 40 congratulate
I am 40 under congratulations on winning
a national championship good job on
raising three good kids and marrying the
right woman I wrote a letter to myself
it was my own brag sheet my own letter
about the things I was proud of because
there are moments and we'll all
experience them in our career in our
life and our job hunting in our
relationships when we are not feeling
good about who and what and where we are
and I had to bring out that letter and
read it time and time again for a period
of about two weeks to whether me through
that storm it was important stop the
self-talk the negative self-talk if
you'll watch you'll see some athletes
they'll have a little bandage or a
little brand around them Lance Armstrong
is a perfect one what's his self
affirmation LIVESTRONG isn't a brand it
was to remind him of who he was
LIVESTRONG then it came a brand he would
move that
from one arm to the next arm when doubt
and fear came into his mind
LIVESTRONG put it on there let's go
we'll all have it replace it two ways to
build self-confidence worried about my
time I'm gonna tell you of one way that
you can build self-confidence in others
we are coaches and educators we are
teachers we are people who will create
value in the world and in doing that we
are critical by the nature of what we do
I'm a I'm a coach I want you to score a
goal ball went over high Dan get the
ball went high Thank You coach I know
that feedback tells me that so what do
we do I need you to put your elbow or
here I need you to put your knee over
the ball and either follow through
boom land good eight notice I never made
it as a professional what can we do we
fix mistakes when I'm fixing that
mistake Johnny this is terrible you need
to bend your knee you need to do this
this what have I done - Johnny
self-confidence bend your knee think of
this through this next thing you know
Johnny's crushed ignore what Johnny does
wrong and find Bob or Sally or Frida
over here
great goal Frida I loved how you kept
your knee low you followed through and
you landed like this great job Johnny oh
great Johnny's not demoralized his
confidence isn't shot and what I've done
is I've built up Freitas imagine how we
could change the way we parented kids
instead of get that glass off the
counter what's wrong with you if we
catch them while they're good great job
great job Thank You Alice for taking
your glass to the counter it's so simple
but we forget about it
or as educators or somebody as a team if
we manage to praise the positive
behavior that we wanted to reinforce we
forget it sounds so simple catch them
when they're good we forget it it's
simple here's what they did there was a
study in Kansas that did this they did
video and we all do video and we showed
the video of them doing the run of the
play this goal happened because the
basket wasn't protected we didn't rotate
here right we needed to do this and then
to cover the slot and if that's the
baseline improvement of the Kansas State
team went like this
then they said they ignored all of that
and they just showed them the times they
did it right the times they did it
perfect that presented no goals spoke to
the same points improvement went like
that it changed and revolutionized the
way we as coaches interact with our
student-athletes we can apply that to
the business world we can apply that to
our student group works we can apply
that to our management teams easily
catch them when they're good last and
certainly not least my son is really
good at this self-confident people
interpret feedback the way they choose
to I asked my son who was by the far
terrible terrible athlete gets it from
his dad the games they win five nine
how's the game oh great I scored three
gold that two assists I'm like I did not
see him touch the puck but he has his
own perception of how he did I love it
right
I'm that I'm that guy I'm like I
remember when I was taking my when I met
my wife is in the comments
Pauly I'd like to would you like to go
to the movies ladies did a good thing up
and she goes no I asked her again cuz I
think that she just hasn't seen me in
the right light maybe that's not the
wrong shirt on right cuz I'm
interpreting that the way I want to
interpret it finally I asked wrote again
actually gives me this one comment right
oh she sent it to her friend because
that's what you did it back then he
would not she wouldn't unless it was the
last person on earth that hell was
freezing over there was a small chance
we had to save the planet Earth some
people's like there's no chance I'm like
you're saying there's a chance
all right because that's how I'm gonna
interpret it if I could give you one
thing to take from this it is no one
will believe in you unless you do listen
to the words of that video here's to the
crazy ones The Misfits the rebels the
troublemakers the round pegs in the
square holes we're supposed to be
different folks and when people look at
us believe in yourself
thank you
simba1985
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