绝望主妇 | 精讲第49期: 前任有毒

S01E10

Susan: "Oh great, our romantic weekend is off."

Mike: "We could move it to my house." 

Susan: "No." 

Mike: "Why not?" 

Susan: "I just, I just want it to be special." 

Mike: "And it can't be special at my house." 

Susan: "Okay. I know this sounds weird, but I just need to have my things around me." 

Mike: "What things?" 

Susan: "Perfumes and oils. And I want to pick out the outfit that you are going to tear off me. And plus, I need to be in complete control of the lighting." 

Mike: "Okay, we'll wait until next weekend." 

Susan: "You are just the sweetest guy."

(She leans over to kiss him, and they end up kissing for a long, extended time.) 

Mike: "I can't wait 'til next weekend." 

Susan: "No, me neither." 

Mike: "What about tomorrow when Julie's at school? I've got an early job and that's it." 

Susan: "Oh, no good. My publisher's got me under the gun for something. What about Friday?"

Mike: "Mmm. I'm repiping the house." 

Susan: "Damn, Karl, I'm not even married to him anymore and he's still keeping me from having sex."

S01E11

Karl: "Hey, is this a bad time?" 
Susan: "For you? Of course it is." 
Karl: "That's cute. Tax stuff. I need your signature." 
Susan: "We've been divorced over a year." 
Karl: "2003."
(Karl walks in.) 
Susan: "Well, please. Just come on in. Uh, Mike, I don't think you've officially met my ex, Karl Mayer." 
Mike: "Oh hey! Mike Delfino." 
Karl: "Right. Plumber."
(Mike gives Karl a look before turning to Susan.) 
Mike: "Yeah, I don't have the right washer for this faucet, so I'm just going to go across the street and get it." 
(Susan laughs as he brushes against her, then walks to the door, closing it behind him.) 
Karl: "So he seems okay." 
Susan: "Yeah, he is. So what do you want me to sign? Oh, I see." 
Karl: "By the way, Julie told me about her birthday plans." 
Susan: "Yeah, we're going to a restaurant downtown. A guy who plays piano and an open mike. Julie got a bunch of her girlfriends together, so we're just going to make a night of it."

Karl: "Julie loves to sing. It sounds nice." 
Susan: "Here you are." 
Karl: "All righty." 
Susan: "Give my best to Brandi." 
Karl: "Actually, um, we're not together anymore." 
Susan: "You're not? What happened?" 
Karl: "I caught her in bed with another guy. Go ahead. Do your happy dance. You deserve it."

Susan: "No, no really, I'm, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I am. Uh, try ripping up old photos. It helps."

Karl: "Well, have fun this weekend. Let me know how the party goes." 

Susan: "Karl, do you want to join us?"

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