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The big impossible - EDWARD J. DELANEY

 

1.       This motel was at the edge of Garden City, Kansas. In the front of the lobby, across the parking lot, was a small swimming pool.  It was a place the last of my money could takeme, for a night. A late October Friday, Indiansummer, warm. I didn’t have a swimsuit. I did not own short pants since Iwas a boy. My duffel held onlynecessary work clothes and some personal things. I stripped off my shirt and boots and socks and went to the pool inmy filthy jeans. I had my eyes closedand didn’t realize I was asleep until the sliding door of a van slammed shut and woke me up.

2.       A woman about my age and a half-dozen preteen girls stepped out ofthe van, and walked to the lobby in a way that suggested a long and tiringride. The woman looked at me a little warily.I knew those girls were going to want to swim, and not with someone as shaky-looking as me around. I went back to my room.

3.       Television seemed like an indulgence. A man read the news andtold me things I hadn’t an inkling of. I was hungry but had eaten my dinner already, and could not afford anothermeal. I could hear the little girls out in the water now, squealing and plunging. Ipulled a room chair outside to sit there in front of my room, to feel thecooling air of the night.

4.       In the parking lot that was myview, a big Cadillac, new-looking, hadappeared. The car was blue with white leather seats. The trunk was still open, as was the door to a room close to mine, andafter a while a man came out to get the rest of his things from the car.

5.       He was tiny. He was maybe alittle more than three feet tall. Iguessed him to be in his sixties. Heturned and saw me standing there. In a reedy voice, he said, “Give an old fellow a hand?” I got up and went around to thetrunk and took out his bag, which was leather and expensive-looking. He hadthick glasses and his face was all lines. I brought the suitcase in and laid itat the foot of his bed, and then hesaid, “Say, let me offer you a drink. I’ll join you outside.”

6.       Out of his suitcase, he took abottle of Chivas, a metal jigger, and four glasses. He made ourdrinks, Scotch over ice, and off wewent outside, him carrying the drinks with his palms underneath, me carrying his chair out to put next to mine.

7.       “Where are you headed?” Iasked. “I have to be down in the place called Liberal in the morning,” he said.“You?” “Looking for work,” I said. “Indulging myself for one night.” He, withhis car and his leather luggage and his Scotch, nodded and said nothing. Aftera while, he said, “Call me Frank.”

8.       A blue Air Force station wagon rolled into the parking lot. Four young mengot out, in jumpsuits and colourful ascots. They were clean-cut and joking, relaxed with big smiles. Frank and I watchedthem take out their bags and go to the office. “Jet pilots, they must be,”Frank said. We sat and finished our drinks and he fixed us a couple more.

9.       After a while the woman and thelittle girls came out to the van, their hair still wet from the pool. Thewoman, having forgotten something, fumbled with her keys and went back in the room. One by one, the girls saw the littleman and one of them said something nasty and the others tried, not overly hard, to suppress their giggles. “A lifetime of that,” Franksaid, clearly to put me at ease. “Living like you’recomfortable with what life deals you, that’s the big impossible sometimes.” Fora few moments I thought about robbing Frank.

10.   The little girls couldn’t stopstaring. Another remark, and another louder round of squeals. The woman cameout, got in the van, and they drove off. “What business are you in?” I said. “I’m pretty much retired,” Frank said. “You’re travelingfor fun?” “No,” he said. “Every once in a while, my services are in demand. It’s a way of making alittle money quickly and easily. Then I can go home.”  He was lost in himself for a second, then heturned to me. “I notice you have no vehicle.What is it that you do?” “I work,” I said. “I have to get to places where thejobs are. I just finished on a farm out east of here. I’m walking into towntomorrow to get a bus.” “Good work, hard work,” he said. “Yes,” I said. “That’sgood.”

11.   Again, for a few moments Ithought about robbing Frank. In my situation at that time, the thought wasalmost inevitable whenever I met someone new: the car, gassed up with the keys nearby; his wallet inevitably fat. But Ithought about him without his car, without his scotch, without his leathersuitcase worth more than all of my possessions together. Frank was my friend.

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Living like you’recomfortable with what life deals you, that’s the big impossible sometimes

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