米歇尔·奥巴马 | 可以改变人生的建议

文稿：

all those degrees all those fancy

schools didn't help me connect in to who

I needed to be as a person do not be

afraid to fail read write read read

wanna soar get a mentor today let's

learn from Michelle Obama and some of

her best life-changing advice meant to

me Michelle also if you want to learn

how to have confidence like Michelle

Obama and other women and/or black

entrepreneurs check out by 2:54 video

series it's free is in the description

below doubts don't go away you just

learn how to deal with them young people

from the toughest backgrounds who never

stop believing in their dream the only

way you succeed in life the only way you

learn is by failing it's not the failure

it's what you do after you fail

[Music]

you

okay let's kick it off with rule number

one find your passion

I talked about the worries that you had

about other people judging your career

choices especially leaving law how did

you overcome that and what would you say

to others facing the same dilemma hmm

well the first thing that I had to

overcome was my own guilt because when

you'd spend so much time and money in my

case taking out student loans I came out

of law school with a lot of debt the

notion that I wouldn't want to invest

financially to recoup that you know that

initial investment was a struggle for me

especially growing up as a working-class

kid you know I talked about the

conversation I have with my mother where

I was trying to break down how I wasn't

passionate about my career and I I feel

guilty talking to a woman who had

sacrificed so much for me and probably

never had the luxury of thinking about

something as trivial as passion you know

so explaining that to a working-class

family how you're gonna walk away from a

solid career and a solid income to you

know pursue what's deep in your heart

you know my parents didn't I'm with a

your biggest worry when you decided to

leave and initially they were but also

that it was part of the challenge was

what else was I gonna do you know that

that's part I describe myself as a box

checker because that's what how we teach

kids it's like there's a path you pick a

career when you're seven you study that

career in elementary school you go to

college you get a major and life choices

are not that orderly but that's how we

train kids and I was right on that path

and I knew how to achieve I knew how to

get aids and how to get to the next

level but no one taught me how to dig

deep inside my soul and figure out what

I cared about and we don't talk to kids

about what they care about we talk about

what they should major in what they

should study and those two things are

very different so part of the struggle

was figuring I had to relearn how to

educate myself about who I was

school didn't teach me that all those

degrees all those fancy schools didn't

help me connect in to who I needed to be

as a person so I had to rewind all that

learning I did what I called

informational interviews I had to go out

and just meet people who were doing all

sorts of things that seemed interesting

to figure out what I cared about was it

kids what was it working with kids was

it mentoring was it education I didn't

know I hadn't explored it because I was

on the path to be a lawyer so that was

the hardest thing for me to to

understand how to do is to walk away

from the formal training that I had

gotten and just swerve into something

more creating say where'd your advice be

to others it is important to find your

passion it is absolutely important and I

encourage young people to try on

different hats I think it's a shame that

kids are forced to figure out so early

in their life and get on a path so I

encourage kids to do internships to work

to talk to people who are doing things

that they think are interesting because

most kids are intimidated about

approaching you for example and saying

Holly you've done some swerving tell me

about what you're what you're doing and

having those conversations in high

school and in college before you commit

to something but I think kids feel the

pressure to have to know what there is

such a young age exactly 16 17 18 making

these big life decisions in one of the

first lines in the first chapters

question that I hate the most that we

asked children is what do you want to be

when you grow up as if growing up is

finite is if you get to a place and at

some point that's the end and that's

sort of one of our big dilemmas that we

ask kids so early to figure out who

you're going to be at 5 and 7 and 10 and

even 20 years old so I do encourage

young people to be open to the swerve

and don't beat themselves up if they

feel they may be not made the the right

first choice because life Holly is long

and as you know we can have many lives

within a life we are always evolving

that is why I called the book becoming

you know this notion that we we that we

ever stopped evolving is it just wrong

rule number two read and write read

write read read if the president were

here one of his greatest strengths is

reading that's one of the reasons why

he's a good communicator why he's such a

good writer he's a voracious reader so

we're trying to get our girls no matter

what to just be to love reading and to

challenge themselves with what they read

and not just read the gossip books but

to push themselves beyond and do things

that maybe they wouldn't do so I would

encourage you all to to read read read

just keep reading and writing is another

skill it's practice it's practice the

more you write the better you get drafts

our kids are learning the first draft

means nothing you're gonna do seven ten

drafts that's writing it's not failure

it's not not the teacher not liking you

because it's all marked up and read when

you get to be a good writer you mark

your own stuff and read and you rewrite

and you rewrite and you rewrite that's

what writing is and if you come out with

those skills and then you're confident

and you can articulate and you can stand

up straight and look anybody in the eye

and say this is who I am

it's a pleasure to meet you that's one

of the things we try to do with our

mentoring program with young girls my

message to them is if you can walk into

the White House and meet the first lady

and say my name is how are you and look

me in the eye then there's nothing you

can't do that's why it's important if

you guys walked here are sitting here in

front of all these people standing tall

asking questions using your voice you

have to practice that these arenas just

show up again and again and then you

just get used to it the nerves go away

and you start relaxing into your own

abilities but it's practice

rule number three fail your way to

success this is what I tell my daughters

every day do not be afraid to fail

because that often times is the thing

that keeps us as women and girls back

because we think we have to be right and

we think we have to be perfect we think

that we can't stumble and the only way

you succeed in life the only way you

learn is by failing it's not the failure

it's what you do after you fail you know

do you let it each up do you quit do you

give up or do you let it bolster you

does it serve as as the challenge in

your mind to do more to take some risks

to step outside of your comfort zone

rule number 4 have Mentors

what would you say to young women and to

young men about the importance of

seeking out strong mentors and what did

they mean to you oh my goodness you you

don't do anything alone and I think a

lot of young people think they look at

people like us and think you just

magically appeared you became and there

you are and it's like no no I always

looked ahead of me at the women

primarily who were doing the things that

I wanted to do I talk a lot about

Valerie Jarrett for example who has

worked in our administration but I met

her very early on before Barack and I

even got married and she for me was one

of the first examples of a strong

professional woman who was a single

parent who was doing a phenomenal job as

a mother and was just a boss at work and

watching her balance that and not losing

herself in either role you know I talked

about how I'd sit in a meeting with her

and she'd be in the midst of you know

business leaders sitting around the

table the mayor on the phone and her

secretary would call and say her

daughter had just got home from school

and wanted to talk and she turned

herself off in a second because she said

I will always make time for my daughter

you know so I saw how important it was

that even in the height of your career

putting your kids first was important

and that

helped me sort of think about how I

wanted the White House experience to

feel for my daughters that's why we you

know in so many instances we would stop

our day you know no matter what was

going on and give that time to the kids

because we wanted them to feel like they

were at the center of everything even

when their mom and dad were some of the

most powerful people in the world so I

wouldn't have known that that example

was possible had I not looked ahead at

the the women who were my mentors and

rule number five the last one before a

very special bonus tip is know your

values I was the vice president of

community outreach for the University of

Chicago hospital and I got that job

because I didn't compromise because

before getting working at that job I was

working as an associate dean I had had

Malia Barack was in the US Senate so I

was basically you know mothering part

time on my own having I had a full-time

job so I tried part-time I've talked

about this before I tried part-time

because I thought I have to figure this

out I have to be able to pick the kids

up I've got to be able to do all this so

try part-time so only thing I found out

from part-time was that you just get

paid part-time because I was still doing

a full time job I was just cramming it

all in to the few hours that I was there

and driving myself crazy so I had about

that if I continued to work that I would

never settle for part-time I knew what

my time and energy was worth so when I

went into that the president's office to

interview for that job I thought I have

a little baby I don't have babysitting

so here we go we're all gonna go in to

see the president

this is who I am yeah and I said and if

I take this job I need flexibility and I

need full pay so if you want me to leave

my baby and my kids then you're gonna

have to pay me because I'm gonna do the

job that was never a question you know I

could deliver but I wasn't I knew then I

wasn't gonna sell myself short

I don't ever view it as bravery yeah you

didn't think that was brave saying look

I'm gonna be paid for time right I just

I just viewed it is I'm not gonna be

taken advantage of you know I just I am

just not gonna keep you it's a new your

value that's new your value now I've got

a really special bonus tip from Michelle

on how to be authentic that I think

you're gonna enjoy but before that it's

time for the three-point landing

questions time to move from just

watching a video to taking action in

your life of business here we go number

one who is your single most important

mentor number two what's the lesson

you've learned from them that you need

to remind yourself of daily and number

three what book will you commit to

reading this week next I've always felt

a deep sense of obligation to make the

biggest impact possible with this

incredible platform so I took on issues

that were personal to me issues like

helping families raise healthier kids

honoring the incredible military

families that I've met out on the

campaign trail inspiring our young

people to value their education and

finish college now some folks criticize

my choices for not being bold enough but

these were my choices my issues and I

decided to tackle them in a way that

felt most authentic to me in a way that

was both substantive and strategic but

also fun and hopefully inspiring so I

immersed myself in the policy details I