我有一只黑狗,他叫抑郁(2)
I had a black dog.His name was Depression.
Keeping up an emotional life is exhausting!
掩藏情绪的生活让人精疲力竭！
Black dog could make me think or say negative things.
黑狗让我消极的思考和言谈。
He could make me irritable and difficult to be around.
它让我烦躁不安，难于相处。
He would take my love and bury my intimacy.
它夺走了我的爱，埋藏了我的温情。
He loved nothing more than to wake me with highly repetitive negative thinking.
它最爱在半夜把我唤醒，心中只有那些一直重复的消极念头。
He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day.
它还喜欢提醒我将会面对多么心力交瘁的一天。
Having a black dog in your life is not so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue.
生活中有一条黑狗，不仅仅是感到一点低落、悲伤或者忧郁。
At its worst, it is about being devoid of feeling altogether.
最糟糕的时候，所有的感觉都会失去。
As I grew older, black dog got bigger and he started hanging around all the time.
我一天天的变老，黑狗一天天的长大，它开始不离我的左右。
I chased them off with whatever I thought might send him running.
我用尽了一切办法，想把它赶走。
But more often than not, he would come out on top.
但获胜的往往是它。
Going down became easier than getting up again.
和重新站起来相比，躺倒变得更容易。
So I became rather good at self medication which never really helped.
所以我成了给自己开药的专家，但从未真的有效过。
Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone.
最后，我感到自己和整个世界所有人失去了联系。
The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life.
黑狗终于成功绑架了我的生活。
When you lose all joy in life, you can begin to question what the point of it is.
当生活不再有丝毫快乐，你就开始质疑生活的意义。
Thankfully this was the time when I sought professional help.
幸运的是，那个时候我寻求了专业的帮助。
This was my first step towards recovery and was a major turning point in my life.
那是我迈向康复的第一步，也是我生命的一个转折点。
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