急！求一篇英语演讲稿（要幽默）

演讲什么啊，啥都不知道，怎么写给你啊

hello,tgdjjygxgs,

chen

I Wasn't Asleep
　　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
　　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
　　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
　　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　我没有睡着
　　当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
　　　 “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
　　　 “没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
　　　 “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”