【英语美文】《父亲寄来生日贺卡》：孩子做个靠自己的人 The Card By James Ross

The Card

By James Ross – edited version

1.      The only thing I ever gotoff my old man was a birthday card when I was ten. He'd gone off when Iwas three and left me and mam and my sister to fend for ourselves. Mam never talks about him but my sisterremembers him. 'What was dad like?' I ask. She looks at me through dark, sleepyeyes, pushes her hair back from her eyes. 'Whu?' 'I said, what was dadlike?'     She smiles at me, and I suss that I should ask her later whenshe's straight.   Anyhow, the only thing I ever got from himwas a birthday card when I was ten. It said Happy Birthday Mickey! And thenthere was a verse inside the cardthat went:

Now you're ten, and howyou've grown，It really won't be long

'Til you're a man, andfully grown，With arms both big and strong.

2.      And on the front of thecard was a picture, a cartoon, of alittle boy driving a tractor. But Imean, how would he know I'd grown? To be honest, I was surprised he knew whereI was, we moved so often. But the killer was, at the bottom of the card, below the rhyme,he'd added:

Remember, no one's got your back  XX. Dad.

3.      I'd studied this card onmore than one occasion, trying to work out some depth to what he was tellingme. 'Laura, what was dad like?' Three hours later and she was up. The dutiful daughter. She looked up alittle, thought about my question for a second or two. Then she said, 'I lovehim. Still.' 'Well I hate him. What was he like, though?' And she said, 'Stern.' 'Stern, huh?' 'I don't meanstrict; more like serious. Like you, a bit, but smarter, taller and betterlooking.' Then she laughed, 'Dry the dishes,' she said.

4.      It's funny, I learn a lotfrom my sister, mainly don't do drugs,which I should have written in capitalletters instead of italics, butnever mind, the thing is, when she's not high,she's the core of our family, thestrength, believe it or not. Then there's me, fifteen, bright, got a future,they tell me, though I haven't and I'll tell you about that later, and thenthere's my mam, honest, and working, and sensible (though not in her choice ofboyfriends or anything). And then there's Laura. Nineteen, and a junkie, but she holds the familytogether.

5.      So maybe I should stopdescribing my life, start showing what happens instead, but I'll get to thatbit in a bit, so to speak. Ok, so mam. My mother. She is thirty-seven years oldand she is a flake. A total dribble. They should do a reality TVshow on my mam – "How Not To …"

"How Not To bring up your children." "How NotTo save for the future." "How Not To get a good job."   "How Not To attract a niceboyfriend."

6.      She did once. Attract anice boyfriend, that is. And I've read all the women's magazines she buys and Iknew from the start it wasn't going to last. From the moment she said to me,'He's kind, thoughtful, good looking. He's got a good job, Pete, and a lovelycar' (a bloody good car, since you ask. You didn't? But you would have. Whichalso means money. Cool. German. Cool. And much more).

7.      But anyway, as she'stelling me all this I'm thinking, Yeah, but mam, you're going to jack Pete in and tell me 'there was no spark' which translates as, you think that love equals pain, and affection means distress and you think that being nice is the equivalent of being invisible. Which itkind of is. So just be honest. Please. So, as predicted, Pete went the journey.And in moved Marc. Fifteen years younger than mam. What a tosspot. What a racket.

10.  Bingo. Job done. Like I say, I'm not tough. But I don't need to be when there's five policemen and a German Shepherd dog breaking down the door and dragging Marc screaming down the path and into a van.

11.  Anyhow, this card I got from my dad. It said, remember, no one's got your back, like this was some piece of information I'd known but had forgotten, or like I already had asked someone to get my back and then discovered they hadn't got it, or something. I mean, come on dad, I don't know who you are, or where you are or what you do or anything, but come on, be a dad for a minute. For as long as it takes not to write that sentence. I was ten years old for Chrissake.

12.  Write I miss you or We'll meet up when you're older or Stick in at school. In fact, here's an idea. Don't send me a card. Go on. Unsend it. But the funny thing is, daft card with a stupid picture and a deranged verse it might have been.  But he was right.  No one's got your back.