Everyday Studio Classroom
刘凯老师直播间
Communication
Make What You Say Count让你说的话有分量
Give your conversations the spark they need为你的对话提供必要的亮点
A conversation is a meeting of two unique minds, and a strong leader understands that every person has something of value to share. If we’re doing things right, we’re constantly surrounded by people who have different backgrounds, experiences and approaches than we do. That means there’s a lot to learn if we take the time to listen.
The catch? Only you have the ability to make your daily interactions more meaningful. Here are seven ways to add more meaning to your conversations, starting today:
1. Don’t get too wrapped up in your next thought.
It’s easy to see when someone is only excited about hearing his own voice, and it makes you doubt whether he’s listening to anyone else’s thoughts.
Be intentional about pausing and listening before you speak. If you have something valuable to say, five minutes of listening won’t change that. What the other person says may change your perspective or shift you to offer a different solution than you originally would have, meaning listening can make your chatter more valuable, too.
2. Ask good questions that show you’re engaged.
You can talk all day about how awesome you are, but a person who takes the time to ask questions of others is quickly respected. One of the best ways to add value to a conversation is to express a genuine interest in what the other person is saying.Asking questions can reflect back what you’ve heard and signal interest.
3. Don’t waste people’s time.
People feel safe and appreciated when they know you’ll respect their time. Even the most important conversations can make a bigger impact when they’re to the point. One good way to check your tendency to inadvertently extend conversations is to monitor your sentences for long pauses or filler words like “uh.”
Communicate clearly and guide the conversation around the details you need to help each other, or move forward. The moment you’ll never want to cut out is the one you use to encourage or add value.
4. Ask how you can add value.
Always ask people how you can add value to their lives. Even if you think you know what the other person should do, remind yourself that she knows what she values better than anyone.
If the other person mentions an ability or connection you have but isn’t sure how she could utilize it, feel free to offer suggestions about how you could see it playing out. Taking one extra step shows you genuinely want to help and don’t see the other person as a burden. As you start focusing on how you can add value to others, you’ll begin to build deep, lasting relationships.
5. Do what you can to help.
There are two sides to this coin. You’ll immediately stand out in a crowd if you offer to help someone, but make sure you’re truly able to deliver on your promise. You’ll build essential relationship trust when you offer a contact, a tool, or even a sounding board, then promptly follow through.
6. Decrease personal barriers.
Personalize the conversation if the opportunity arises. Small touchpoints can build trust, lower those barriers and make your interactions more genuine. If all else fails, I’ll tell a self-deprecating story or talk about a “learning moment” I didn’t expect. Things suddenly get much more comfortable.
7. Remember key points.
Be the kind of person who cares about the small details. As you ask questions and engage people, keep the key points in mind so you can follow up next time you touch base. Does this person enjoy running? Ask him about his next race. Anyone can throw out “How was your Christmas?” but it takes a really intentional person to ask about the small details.
Change takes time
Meaningful conversations lead to meaningful relationships. But it takes time to create new habits. Pick one item from the list, and focus on implementing it in your daily conversations.
You’ll never regret the time you take to create habits that bring value and meaning to your interactions with others.
How are you going to add meaning to your conversations this week?
Ask questions
I make it a point to ask at least one question before moving on to a new topic. Questions don't have to be complicated. If someone told you about his new puppy, something as simple as "How have the kids reacted?"can allow him to spend an extra minute explaining what the change has meant to him and build more rapport with you. When I ask questions, I find that I'm naturally more in tune with the other person and more likely to remember the details of our conversation.
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作者简介：刘凯，男，蒙古族，黑龙江省齐齐哈尔人。本科为哈尔滨师范大学英语系，硕士为华中师范大学汉语言文学。美国亚利桑那大学访问学者，澳大利亚新兰威尔士大学ESL研修。2018年加州理工学院语言学双学位获得者。北京市优秀青年教师，北京市级重点高中示范校骨干教师，多年高中一线执教经验，高三年级把关教师，多次参与东城区模拟试题命题工作，教学理念先进，教学成果突出，多篇教学论文获市区级奖项。教育部课题研究员，参与国家十二五课题计划，并作出突出贡献，参与初中、高中各年级区级试题的命制，多次承担区级和市级研究课任务。【详细介绍请参考百度百科、搜狗百科、360百科，搜“刘凯老师”】
北京市科技英语优秀指导教师，所带学生在各级英语口语、作文竞赛中多次获奖；刘凯老师将扎实的英语基本功和严谨的学术思想作为教学的基础，课堂上善于寓教于乐，信息量大，内容丰富，使学生在和谐的课堂气氛下欣赏英语、享受英语、掌握英语、运用英语。曾多次参加高考阅卷工作，参与人民教育出版社、北京教育出版社、外研社等各类高考教学用书的编写工作，有丰富的备考经验，国际核心期刊发表多篇论文。
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