It felt like two hot knives were stabbing me in the back-- right into my kid- neys. It was a burning pain-- unavoidable.
As my mind scanned this area of my back, it imagined two white-hot spots searing through my flesh. My knees also burned. My ankles burned. My feet were numb with a dull ache. But my back was the worst.
I felt a wave of panic--butterflies in my stomach and a tremendous urge to get up and run away. I gulped, refocused my mind on the sensations in my body, and remained still. I tried to follow the advisors instructions-- don't flee from the pain, go deeply into it. My mind concentrated on the burning kidneys. I tried to observe the pain dispassionately. What was it exactly? What is pain? How, exactly, did it feel? How large was the painful area? How deep?
As I delved into the pain, an amazing thing happened-- the panic and fear drained away. My body heaved suddenly with a long, slow, very deep breath. As I exhaled, I felt a deep sense of calm wash through me.
A natural, unforced smile crept onto my face. My mind remained focused and suddenly the intense pain didn't seem "painful". I noticed that the pain was, in fact, an area of more intense vibration--- but I was no longer experi- encing it as something to escape or avoid.
That was the moment I broke through-- at the end of the 8th day of a 10 day Vipassana meditation course.
Vipassana is a form of meditation, sometimes translated to English as "Insight Meditation". It consists of a deep and systematic observation of one's mind and body. Vipassana has many variants and is taught by many different meditation schools, teachers, and groups.
The course I took followed the methods of S.N. Goenka. Goenka learned Vipassana in Burma and was so amazed by the transformations it caused in his life, he wanted to teach others. After some time, Goenka developed a 10 day course. The course is very intense. Participants do not speak during the course and they meditate from 4 AM to 9 PM, with only short breaks.
The focus of the course is on the direct experience and practice of meditation rather than theory or philosophy. Another unique aspect of the course is that it is free. At the end of the course, participants may give a donation if they wish to help others do the course-- but this is voluntary and there is no coercion.
When I finished the course I felt a powerful sense of calm. I felt centered. My mind was clearer than it had ever been. The course was one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had in my life-- and one of the most positive.
Unfortunately, that was almost 3 and a half years ago. Initially I continued to meditate after the course. But slowly I got out of the practice. Its been quite a while now.
As a result, I feel my mind and emotions have grown volatile and unstable
again. Which, lately, has gotten me thinking about Vipassana.
There are Vipassana courses and centers all over the world, so it would be easy to find one.
To learn more, go to www.dhamma.org
Learn More:
10 Day Vipassana Courses https://www.dhamma.org
Vipassana Article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassana
stabbing: v. to push a knife into something
kidneys: n. part of body that cleans the blood
unavoidable: adj. can’t get away from, can’t avoid
scanned: v. to look at quickly
searing: v. burning
flesh: n. skin (& muscle)
numb: adj. without feeling, can- not feel pain
ache: n. a “dull” pain
panic: n. strong fear and confusion
butterflies in my stomach: idiom. nervous, worried
gulped: v. swallowed
sensations: n. (physical) feelings
advisors: n. teachers
flee: v. run away from, run from, avoid
dispassionately: adv. without emotion
delved into: v. go (deeply) into
drained away: v. went away, left slowly
heaved: v. moved suddenly
exhaled: v. breathed out
wash through: v. idiom. go (completely through)
crept: v. came slowly (present tense- to creep)
intense: adj. strong, powerful
vibration: n. shaking
escape: v. get away from
broke through: v. made a big improvement (or change)
Vipassana meditation: n. a kind
of mental training insight: n. understanding
consists of: includes
systematic observation: n. careful & organized looking
variants: n. variations, kinds
methods: n. ways of doing something
transformations: n. big changes, deep and long-term changes
intense: adj. powerful
participants: n. people who join, people who participate
theory: n. (research) ideas
philosophy: n. ideas about how to live, life values
unique aspect: special part, special feature
donation: n. money given to help someone, money give to a charity voluntary: adj. by choice
coercion: n. force, persuasion sense: n. feeling
centered: adj. balanced, calm
initially: adv. at first
meditate: v. to focus the mind
got out of the practice: v. stopped practicing, stopped doing
as a result: therefore
volatile: adj. changing a lot and changing quickly, chaotic
unstable: adj. not firm, not the same, not consistent
gotten: v. idiomatic. “got”, made me...
用户评论