一个美国人对“塞翁失马”的理解

Long before I ever uttered my first word in Mandarin Chinese, I encountered a story that has helped me redefine how I approach the good and the bad in life — the tale of the old frontiersman's lost horse, or sai weng shi ma.

多年前我刚开始学中文的时候，读到《塞翁失马》的故事，让我重新认识到如何界定生活中的好事与坏事。

According to the tale, an old man living near the border happened to lose his horse when it ran away. People came to comfort him, but he responded by saying, "Why couldn't this be something fortunate?" After a few months, the horse returned to the old man, bringing along with it a number of fine steeds from the frontier. People came to offer congratulations, but the old man said, "Why couldn't this be a calamity?" The old man now had many horses at his home, and his son loved to ride.

塞翁居住在靠近边塞的地方。一次，他的马无缘无故跑出了国界。人们都为此来宽慰他。那老人却说：“这怎么就不是一种福气呢？”过了几个月，那匹失马带着许多良驹回来了。人们都前来祝贺他。那老人又说：“这怎么就不是一种灾祸呢？”

But one day, while on horseback, the son fell off and broke his leg. People came to console the old man, who instead told them, "Why couldn't this be a good thing?" A year later, barbarians carried out a large-scale invasion on the frontier, and every able-bodied young man took up arms to go to war. The vast majority of the people living at the frontier died. But the son was saved from going to battle because of his lame leg, allowing him and his father to survive in safety.

塞翁的儿子爱好骑马，结果从马上掉下来摔断了腿。人们都前来慰问他。那老人说：“这怎么就不是一件好事呢？”过了一年，敌人大举入侵边塞，健壮男子都被征兵去作战。边塞附近的人，死亡众多。惟有塞翁的儿子因为腿瘸的缘故免于征战，父子俩一同保全了性命。

Ever since I've first read this story as a high school student, I've returned to it again and again whenever the world yields more sorrows than sweetness. The idea that, perhaps, things that seemed bad might actually prove to have a silver lining, one we might not discern at first, has provided a certain reassurance I depend on amid the vicissitudes of life. And indeed, sometimes what seems apparently unfortunate can still yield blessings after all.

我高中时第一次读到了这个故事。每当世界上的悲伤多于甜蜜时，我就又回味这个故事。故事的理念就是看上不好的事情，也许不那么糟。

For example, years ago when I returned to China from the US, I came for a position at an organization in Hangzhou that soured after only four months, due to everything from chaotic management to a venomous roommate. But because of that position, which I ultimately quit, I discovered the charms of Hangzhou and found myself surrounded by a bevy of friends who encouraged me to stay. Then I soon fell into a wonderful new job at an internet company — the same firm that my future husband Jun would enter only months later, allowing the two of us to meet and fall in love.

举个例子，多年前我从美国回中国，曾在杭州一个机构任职。那四个月的经历并不好，机构组织混乱，室友也充满恶意。后来我辞职了，不过那段经历也让我发现了杭州的美，身边的朋友也鼓励我留下来。之后我很快在一家互联网公司找到很棒的新工作。更重要的是，我在那里认识了我的丈夫，他只比我晚入职一个月。

From this perspective, those four bitter months at that organization proved fortuitous, because the experience still brought me to Hangzhou, where I eventually got that pivotal new job that would connect me with my cherished husband.

这样看来，我在前东家的痛苦经历反而成了好事，因为那份工作将我带到杭州，后来的新工作让我认识了老公。

Psychology professionals might point out that the story of the old frontiersman's lost horse could serve as a more ancient example of the idea of reframing — to look at a situation from a different angle.

心理学家也许会认为，《塞翁失马》是一个古老的例子，证明了凡事要换个角度看问题。

Of course, not everything lends itself easily to a more uplifting rewrite, such as the untimely death of my mother when I was in high school. But approaching the world with an eye toward the positive, and the hopeful possibilities in life, does mean we're more likely to find encouragement elsewhere, even in the little things.

当然，不是所有事情都有美好的一面，比如我母亲在我读高中时就去世了。但是用积极的眼光看世界，永远抱有希望，能让我们从小事情中发现闪光点。

I like to play a game with my husband I call "However". Whenever one of us brings up some bad news or a negative situation, the other responds with the word "However" as a prompt to speak out the dialectical good side to what happened. I have a feeling the old frontiersman who lost a horse would approve.

我喜欢和丈夫玩一个叫“但是”的游戏。无论谁有负面信息时，另一个人就要说“但是”来找到事情好的一面。塞翁会证明这是对的。