Lesson Sixteen Text
A Social Event
William Inge
CHARACTERS Randy Brooks Carole Mason Muriel
The scene is the bedroom in the home of a young Hollywood couple
Randy Brooks and Carole Mason,
who have been married only a short time
and whose careers are still in the promising stage.
There is abundant luxury in the room but a minimum of taste.
It is late morning and both Randy and Carole are asleep,
but Randy soon comes awake , reaches for a cigarette, lights it,
and rubs his forehead worriedly.
Something profound is troubling him.He gets out of bed ,
slips a robe on and paces the floor worriedly.
Finally, he presses the buzzer on the house phone and speaks to the cook.
R:Muriel? We're getting up now.Bring up the usual breakfast.
( He hangs up and goes into the bathroom to wash.Now Carole wakes up.
She too lights a cigarette and looks troubled.Then she calls to Randy.)
C:I hardly slept a wink all night, just thinking about it.
There's nothing to do but" face the fact that we're not invited
C:Oh, there's got to be a way. There's got to be.
R:After all, honey,there's no reason to feel slighted.
We're both pretty new in pictures.
It's not as though we were old timers who had worked with Scotty.
C:Sandra and Don never worked with Scotty, either.
Neither did Debby and Chris, or Anne and Mark.
R:I know, honey.We've been through all this before.
C:And I may never have worked with Scotty,
but I did meet him once, and he danced with me at a party.
He was very nice to me too, and said some very complimentary things.
I met his wife,too.(An afterthought. ) I didn't much like her
R:Maybe I'd better call Mike again.
(He picks up the telephone and dials.)
CAROLE:What good can an agent do? We're not looking for jobs.
R:He may have found some way of getting us invited.
C:I bet.
R:Mike?Randy.Look, Mike,Carole and I still haven't been invited,
and I can't help wondering if there's been an oversight of some kind.
After all,Carole was a great friend of Scotty's
and she feels pretty hurtthat she's been over looked...
I never knew himbut everyone knows how much I've always admired him.
In an interview just last week,
I said,"Scotty Woodrow is still the greatest.
"Now,I didn't have to say that. . . if you ask me,
it showed a lot of humility on my part
to say a thing like that when,after all,I've got a career of my own to consider..
well look,try to do something,Mike.
Carole and I both should be seen there.
OK.Mike, call us as soon as you find out.(He hangs up. )
C:He couldn't get us an invitation to Disneyland.
R:He said just Scotty's closest friends are being invited.
C:Oh. yes! Half the people going,I bet,have never met him.
R:Well! What are we going to do?
C:Sandra had an entire new outfit made.Perfectly stunning.
And she had the dress made so that she can have the sleeves taken out later and
wear it to cocktails and supper parties.
After all, black is a very smart color now.
R:Did you tell Sandra and Don we weren't invited?
C:Of course not.
I lied and said we were going Now, if we don't get an invitation,
I'll have to lie again and say we came down with food poisoning,or something
R:How did Anne and Mark get invited?
C:Mark played Scotty's son in a picture once.
R:When? I don't remember.
C:A long time ago,before either of us came on the scene.
R:That means Mark's a little older than he admits.
C:I don't know. The part was very young,practically an infant
R:Just the same, I'll bet Mark's thirty.
C:Damn,what am I going to tell Sandra?
She invited us to come to her house afterwards and I accepted.
R:She's not giving a party!
C:No. She just invited some friends to come in afterwards to have a few drinks
talk about what a great guy Scotty was,and everything.
She said she thought we'd all feel terribly depressed.
After all, Scotty Woodrow was practically a landmark,or something.
Think of it. He's been a star for forty years.
R:Yes. He was really great.
It makes me very humble to think of a guy like Scotty.
C:They say flowers came from the President,and from Queen Elizabeth,and...
R:The guest list is going to be published in every paper in the country
C:You know we could crash.R:No,honey.C:Who'd know the difference?
R:How would we feel afterwards,when we had to shake hands with Mrs. Woodrow?
C:She's probably forgotten whether she invited us or not.
R:Honey, I'm not going to crash. That's all.I'm not.
C:Everyone would just take it for granted we'd been invited.I mean
we're both just as prominent as Sandra and Don,or any of the others.
If you ask me, it'd be a lot better to crash than not to be seen at. . .
well,you can't call it a social affair exactly,but it's a social event.
Anyway, everyone will be there. Everyone.
R:It could be some of the others who are lying about their invitations, too
You realize that,don't you?
C: I wonder... well,anyway,they're all going.
I think they got invitations.
R:I don't know why the studio couldn't have managed it for us with a little pull
They should realize it's in the best interests of my career to be seen there,
and my career means as much to them as it does to me.
C:Same here.
Oh,I just don't know how I can face Sandra and Anne and all the others,
and make them believe that we really did have food poisoning.
R:You know, we could give ourselves food poisoning.
Just a light case.A little rotten meat would do it.
Then we'd call the doctor and...
C:No!I'm not going to make myself sick.
R:Just a slight case so you could tell them with a straight face.
(A soft tap comes at the door.) Come in.
(Muriel, the maid,enters with a tray.)Hi Muriel!
M:Good morning!
C:Hi, Muriel. Put it here on the coffee table.( Muriel does as sheis told.)
M:Miss Carole, I hope you remember I told you I'd be gone this morning.
C:Oh,yes,I'd forgotten. What time will you be back, Muriel?
M:Oh, I'll be back in time to fix dinner.
R:Is this your day off Muriel?
M:No, Mr. Randy. I'm going to Mr. Woodrow's funeral.
( There is a slight air of supei iority about her now.
Randy and Carole look at her with sudden surprise.)
R:Oh... is that right?
M:And after the funeral,
Mrs.Woodrow has asked me to join the family at their home.
C:Muriel, you didn't tell me!R:Uh. . . were you a friend of Scotty,Muriel?
M:My mother worked for him when he was starting out in the business.
I was born in Mr.Woodrow's beach house,
before he bought that big house up in the canyon.
( She has thus established herself as near royalty to Randy and Carole. )
R:(Amazed.) Really?
M:Oh, yes. Mr. Woodrow was very good to me when I was a child.
Mama worked for him until she died. I could have stayed on,
but after Mr.Woodrow got married the last time,
she hired a lot of French servants I didn't get on with,at all.
But they went right on sending me Christmas cards every year.
R:Uh. . . Muriel, do you have a ride to the funeral?
M:No, Mr. Brooks. Mrs.Woodrow's secretary said I could bring my family,
but now that Vincent has left me and taken the car,
I'll have to take a taxi.
Gee... that's too bad.
C:Yes.Isn't it?
M: Well, I have to be getting ready now.
I got a new black dress to wear.All the big names in Hollywood will be there
I want to look my best.
R: Uh. .Muriel, you don't want to go to the services all alone!
M:Oh, I don't mind.
C:Look, Muriel, why don't we all go together?
I: mean. .. well, of course, Randy and I are invited,too,
but we'd be glad to go along with you. . .
as your family, you know.Well, after all,you're one of us,Muriel.
M:All of us go together, huh?C:Of course.
R:I'll drive us all there in the Cadillac.
M: Oh.. .that'd be nice.And then after the funeral,we'll take you to the house
M: I see.R:And you won't have to worry about coming back to fix-dinner.
C:Of course not.M:Well, it suits me.I didn't want to have to call a taxi.
If you folks want to come along, fine and dandy.
You'll have to pardon me now.
I have to get into my new black dress.
We'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes,Muriel
( Muriel exits. Carole and Randy both jump into action ,
getting their clothes out of their respective closets. )
C:I told you we'd find a way.R:Yah.
(Taking a suit from closet ) Say,this suit could stand a pressing.
Do I have to wear black?
C:Of course, honey.After all, it's a very solemn occasion.Well, O.K.
C:I'll have to call Sandra. (She picks up the telephone and dials.)
R:It's going to look all right, isn't it? I mean, our going with Muriel.
C:Of course. You don't worry about things like that at a funeral.
(Into the telephone. )
Sandra? Carole.
Darling I'm awfully sorry
but Randy and I won't be able to come to your house after the funeral...
well,you see, we have a duty to Muriel, our cook.
She's the daughter of Scotty's old housekeeper..yes,Scotty practically raised her
And we feel that we should take her with us,and then,
of course,we'll have to go to the home afterwards.
Just family and a few of his very closest friends.
We can't get out of it you'll forgive us, won't you, darling?
Oh, it's all going to be terribly sad.
R:( To himself, while dressing.) I guess it'll look all right.
After all, funerals are very democratic affairs.CURTAIN
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