When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediatedly said yes, Then I went to look up what commencement meant /ment/. Which would have been easy if I have a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Potia's, and they're all written /ˈrɪtn/ in Australian. So I had to break the word /wɜːd down myself, to find out the meaning.
Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. You commonly see cement outside walks. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. So there's that. But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement.
I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus /əˈlʌmnəs/- alumni /əˈlʌmnaɪ/ - aluminum /əˈluːmɪnəm/- alumis- you had to graduate from this school. And I didn't go to college here, and I don't know President Cowen knows, I didn't go to any college at all. Any college. And I'm not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.
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