There are some times in life when you fall down and you feel like you don't have the strength to get back up.
人生中，有些时候，你跌倒了，感觉自己没有力气爬起来。
There comes a time when the blankness of future is so extreme. It's such a black wall of nothingness and not even of bad things. It's not even like there is a cave full of monsters that you are afraid of entering in the future. It is just nothingness. It is just horrible. It is horrible to contemplate a futureless future if that isn't too impossible.
有时，你感觉自己的未来是黑暗的。这意味着，你的未来，不是充满了糟糕的事，而是一片空白。这种黑暗给你的感觉，不是那种对未来的恐惧，就像被许多怪兽包围住一样。未来，它就是一片空白，它就是那么可怕。可能，未来就是没有希望的。一想到这点，你就很害怕。
So you just want to step out of it to step out of the whole race, the whole business. The monstrosity of being alive overwhelms you. You think what kind of purpose do I have to live. I mean, are you just here to live and then die? Is there not a purpose for me? Is there not a purpose in life? There are some things in life that are out of your control, that you can't change and you've got to live with them.
所以，你不想再深陷其中，你想逃离这场比赛，逃离这一切。对于你来说，活着，已经是一件很恐怖、很难承受的事情了。你会想，我活着到底是为了什么？意思是，你活着就是碌碌无为，直到死去吗？你活着没有追求吗？生活没有目标吗？生命中，有些事情是你无法控制的。你不能改变它们，你只能学会适应。
……
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