17-5-19 【听演讲学英语】想不想做一个会聊天的人？访谈主播给你十条沟通技巧

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Celeste Headlee: 10ways to have a better conversation

Section 1：

So this worldthat we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential todevolve intoan argument, where our politicians can't speak to one anotherand where even the mosttrivialof issues have someone fighting both passionatelyfor it and against it, it's not normal. We're less likely to compromise, whichmeans we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where tolive, who to marry and even who our friends are gonna be, based on what wealready believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other.

A conversationrequires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way,we lost that balance. So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teachingyou how to talk and how to listen. Many of you have already heard a lot ofadvice on this, things like look the person in the eye, think of interestingtopics to discuss in advance, nod and smile to show that you're payingattention, repeat back what you just heard or summarize it. So I want you toforget all of that. It is crap. There is no reason to learn how to show you'repaying attention if you are in fact paying attention. We've all had reallygreat conversations. The kind of conversation where you walk away feelingengaged and inspired, or where you feel like you've made a real connection oryou've been perfectly understood.

Vocabulary:

Devolve into,trivial

Section 2：

So I have 10basic rules. If you just choose one of them and master it, you'll already enjoybetter conversations.Number one:Don't multitask. If you want to getout of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in itand half out of it.Number two: Don'tpontificate. If you wantedto state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushbackor growth, write a blog. You need to enter every conversation assuming that youhave something to learn. The famed therapist M. Scott Peck said that truelistening requires asetting asideof oneself. He said that sensing thisacceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and morelikely to open up theinner recessesof his or her mind to the listener.Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows something that youdon't."

Numberthree: Use open-ended questions. Start yourquestions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a complicatedquestion, you're going to get a simple answer out. If I ask you, "Were youterrified?" you're going to respond to the most powerful word in thatsentence, which is "terrified," and the answer is "Yes, Iwas" or "No, I wasn't." Let them describe it. They're the onesthat know. Try asking them things like, "What was that like?""How did that feel?"

Vocabulary:

pontificate, setaside, recess

Section 3:

Numberfour:Go with the flow. That meansthoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.Number five: If you don't know, say that you don't know.Number six:Don'tequateyour experiencewiththeirs. All experiences areindividual. And, more importantly, it is not about you.Number seven:Try not to repeat yourself. Especially in work conversations or inconversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keeprephrasing it over and over. Don't do that.

Numbereight: Stay out of the weeds. So forget thedetails. Leave them out.Number nine: This is not the last one, but itis the most important one. Listen：Icannot tell you how many really important people have said that listening isperhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop.One more rule,number 10, and it's this one: Be brief. [A goodconversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but longenough to cover the subject. — My Sister]

All of thisboilsdown tothe same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested in otherpeople. I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open,and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed.

Vocabulary:

go with theflow, equate with, boil down to