Ronny Chieng | 字幕 It's a Science with Ronny Chieng

- Hey, uh, welcome to science class today.
Today we're gonna talk about animals.
And I know you kids all like the fancy animals, okay,
but stop being so thirsty for hippos,
because unless you're a 
you're never gonna own one, okay?
Instead, today, we're gonna talk about the animals
you'll actually encounter.
The ones that will infest your house,
animals like the fruit fly.
This is a mild infestation.
As far as the insects go,
fruit flies are pretty chill.
They are like most Brooklyn hipsters,
very picky eaters, and they have
zero upper body strength.
Also, they do it doggy style.
Who knew?
Anyway, getting rid of them is pretty straightforward.
Just stop leaving piles of rotting fruit lying around, duh!
A worst infestation is bedbugs.
Much like Armie Hammer, they feed on human blood.
Getting rid of bedbugs is almost impossible.
So if you get them, the best solution is to just leave.
Walk out of the door, start a new life,
like Miley Cyrus.
People think Hannah Montana
was a character, but it was just
who she was until she got bedbugs.
Next up, lady bugs or as scientists call them,
"women bugs."
This is maybe the best infestation you can have.
They don't really do anything and for bugs,
they look pretty.
They're like beetles that just got their nails done.
But enough about insects,
let's move on to mammals,
specifically mice,
the freeloader rodents.
And to be clear, not all
rodents are freeloaders.
Just look at squirrels.
They're like small business owners,
hustling out there,
renting storage lockers for their nuts.
But mice just want your food.
Now, mice like to come into your
home because it's nice and cozy.
That's why the best way to deter
that is to make your home
cold and inhospitable,
like a Scandinavian's.
If you do have mice,
you'll know because they take
these little shits in your house
that look exactly like
chocolate Tic Tacs, but they are
not chocolate Tic Tacs.
That's a lesson I learned
many, many times.
Finally, the king
of pests: raccoons.
Raccoons evolved millions of years ago
when a bear (bleep) a monkey.
Of course I'm just kidding.
Science doesn't actually know
where they came from.
Mostly they just go through
your garbage looking for food
and anything they
can sell on eBay.
They're how nature recycles.
You have to be careful around raccoons.
They are one of the primary
carriers of rabies,
a virus that makes animals act
like they're from New Jersey.
If you see a raccoon foaming at the mouth,
do not go near it with a calzone.
It will fight you for it.
So, yeah, those are all the animals
you actually need to know about.
I hope you found this educational.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna enjoy some of these
chocolate Tic Tacs I just found.
Oh-- Damn it!
Okay, well,
I'll see you guys next week.
Mmm, maybe this one?
No! No, no.
That was poo too.