The Monkey Garden 2 (带文本）

The Monkey Garden 2 

This is where I wanted to die and where I tried one day but not even the monkey garden would have me. It was the last day I would go there.

Who was it that said I was getting too old to play the games? Who was it I didn’t listen to? I only remember that whenthe others ran, I wanted to run too, up and down and through the monkey garden, fast as the boys, not like Sally who screamed if she got her stockings muddy:

是谁说我太大了不能玩这样的游戏了 ?是谁的话我没有听？我只记得，别人都跑开时，我也想跑，跑上跑下蹿遍猴子花园，像男孩一样快，而不是像萨莉那样，看到袜子上沾了泥巴就尖叫。

I said, Sally, come on, but she wouldn’t. She stayed by the curb talking to Tito and his friends. Play with die kids if you want, she said, I’m staying here. She could be stuck-up like that if she wanted to, so I just left.

我说，萨莉，来呀。可她没动。她待在路边和提陀还有他的朋友们说话。你想和小孩们玩，那你就玩吧。她说。我留在这里。她想要傲慢的话，就能傲慢起来。于是我离开了。

It was her own fault too. When I got back Sally was pretending to be mad … something about the boys having stolen her keys. Please give them back to me，she said punching the nearest with a soft fist. They were laughing. She was too. It was a joke I didn’t get,

那也是她自己的错。我回来时，萨莉正在假装生气••••••好像是男孩们偷了她的钥匙。请还给我。她说着，用一只柔软的拳头捶打着最近的那个。他们都笑开了。她也是。那是一个我不懂的玩笑。

I wanted to go back with the other kids who were still jumping on cars，still chasing each other through the garden，but Sally had her own game.

我想回去和别的孩子一起玩，他们还在汽车上跳来跳去，还在花园里互相追逐。可萨莉有她自己的游戏。

One of the boys invented the rules. One of Tito’s friends said you can’t get the keys back unless you kiss us and Sally pretended to be mad at first but she said yes. It was that simple.

一个男孩设计了规则。提陀的一个朋友说，除非你亲我们，要不就拿不回钥匙。萨莉一开始假装很生气，然后就说好吧。就那么简单。

I don’t know why, but something inside me wanted to throw a stick. Something wanted to say no when I watched Sally going into the garden with Tito’s buddies all grinning. It was just a kiss, that’s all. A kiss for each one. So what, she said.

我不知道为什么。我身体里有什么东西想要扔树枝。有什么东西想要说不，当我看到萨莉走进花园里去，而提陀的伙伴们都在坏笑时。只是亲—下。就好了。每人亲一下。这有什么呢？她说。

Only how come I felt angry inside. Like something wasn’t right. Sally went behind that old blue pickup to kiss the boys and get her keys back, and I ran up three flights of stairs to where Tito lived. His mother was ironing shirts. She was sprinkling water on them from an empty pop bottle and smoking a cigarette. 

可是，我不知道为什么心里很愤怒。好像有什么不对劲。萨莉走到那辆蓝色旧车后面去亲男孩，拿回她的钥匙，而我却跑上三层楼梯到了提陀住的地方。他妈妈在熨衬衫。她用一个空的汽水瓶往上喷水，同时抽着—枝烟。

Your son and his friends stole Sally’s keys and now they won’t give them back unless she kisses them and right now They’re making her kiss them, I said all out of breath from the three flights of stairs.

你儿子和他的朋友偷了萨莉的钥匙，不还给她，除非她亲他们。现在他们就在让她亲他们，爬完三层楼后的我累得上气不接下气地说。

Those kids, she said, not looking up from her ironing

那些个小家伙。她说，头都没抬一下，继续熨着。

That’s all?

就这样吗？

What do you want me to do,she said,call the cops ?and kept on ironing.

你想要我做什么呢，她说，叫警察？然后继续熨衣服。

I looked at her a long time, but couldn’t think of anything to say，and ran back down the three flights to the garden where Sally needed to be saved. I took three big sticks and a brick and figured this was enough.

我瞪着她很久，可想不出要说什么，于是跑下三层楼梯回花园，到需要解救的萨莉那里去。我拿了三根大树枝和一块砖头，心想这些应该够了。

But when I got there Sally said go home. Those boys said leave us alone. I felt stupid with my brick. They all looked at me as if I was the one that was crazy and made me feel ashamed.

可我到了那里，萨莉说回家吧。那些男孩说走开。我手里拿着砖头觉得自己很蠢。他们都那么瞧着我，好像我才是那个做蠢事的人。这让我觉得很羞愧。

And then I don’t know why but I had to run away I had to hide myself at the other end of the garden, in the jungle part, under a tree that wouldn't mind if I lay down and cried a long time. I closed my eyes like tight stars so that I wouldn’t ,but I did. My face felt hot. Everything inside hiccuped.

然后我不知道为什么我得跑开。我得把自己藏在花园的另一边，藏在树丛里，一棵不会介意我躺下来哭很久的树下面。我使劲把眼睛闭起来，像最渺小的星星那样，好让自己不哭。可我还是哭了。我的脸在发烫。身体里的每样东西都在呃逆。

I read somewhere in India there are priests who can will their heart to stop beating. I wanted to will my blood to stop,my heart to quit its pumping I wanted to be dead ,to turn into the rain, my eyes melt into the ground like two black snails. I wished and wished. I closed my eyes and willed it, but when I got up my dress was green and I had a headache.

我在哪里读到过的，在印度，有的祭司可以凭借意志让自己的心脏停跳。我也想用意志让自己的血停止流，心泠止跳。我想要死去，化成雨，想要我的眼睛融化，像两条黑蜗牛一样溶进土里。我想呀想呀，闭上眼睛一心一意地想。等我站起来时，我的裙子变绿了，头也痛了起来。

I looked at my feet in their white socks and ugly round shoes. They seemed far away. They didn’t seem to be my feet anymore. And the garden that had been such a good place to play didn’t seem mine either.

我看着自己穿着白袜和圆鞋的脚。它们好像很遥远，似乎不再是我的脚了。花园曾经是那么好玩的去处，可现在似乎也不是我的了。