Thank you for inviting me to celebrate with you today. TISCH graduates, you made it! And you're f*cked. Think about that.
今天，感谢大家邀请我和你们一起庆祝毕业。纽约大学艺术学院的毕业生们，你们做到了，但你们也完蛋了。好好想一想吧。
The graduates from the college of nursing, they all have jobs. The graduates from the college of dentistry, fully employed.
护理学院的毕业生们，他们都有工作了，牙医学院的毕业生们也都有工作了。
The Leonard M Stern School of Business graduates, they're covered. The School of Medicine graduates, each one will get a job.
斯特恩商学院的毕业生们，他们的工作都有着落了。医学院的每一位毕业生，也都会找到工作。
The proud graduates of the NY School of Law, they're covered. And if they're not, who cares? They're lawyers.
纽约大学法学院那群骄傲的毕业生，他们找工作也都没有问题。就算有问题，又有谁在乎呢？毕竟他们是律师。
The English majors are not a factor. They'll be home writing their novels. Teachers, they'll all be working. Shitty jobs, lousy pay, but still working.
英语专业的也不成问题，至少他们可以在家里写小说。教师专业呢，他们也都会有工作——尽管是艰苦的工作，拿着微薄的工资，但至少还是有工作的。
……
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