Anne of the Island 8 - In Ruby Gillis’Garden
Anne was sitting with Ruby Gillis in the Gillis' garden watching the sunset. Over the summer Anne had spent many pleasant evenings with Ruby. Anne had watched Ruby grow paler and weaker, and each evening ended a little earlier than the last. But Ruby was always cheerful and talkative, always chatting about young men and clothes and the latest Avonlea news, and never mentioned her health.
At the end of every visit, Ruby made Anne promise to visit again. Once, Mrs. Lynde complained about Anne's frequent visits to the Gillis' house. "Every time you go and visit Ruby, you come back looking so tired, Anne," she said.
"It's so sad," Anne said. "Ruby doesn't seem to realize that she's sick. I feel as if I'm watching her fight an invisible enemy."
But when Anne went to visit Ruby one evening at the end of summer, Ruby was strangely quiet. She did not say a word about parties or new clothes or young men. Ruby sat in her chair on the porch, with a white shawl wrapped around her thin shoulders. Just beyond the Gillis' house was the church, with the old graveyard beside it. The moonlight shone on the white stones.
"How strange the graveyard looks by moonlight," said Ruby suddenly. "How ghostly." She shuddered. "Anne, it won't be long now before I'll be lying over there. You and Diana and everyone else will keep on living . . . and I'll be there . . . in the old graveyard—dead!"
Anne was shocked. For a few moments, she could not speak.
"You know it's true, don't you?" said Ruby insistently.
"Yes, I know," answered Anne in a low tone.
"Everybody knows it," said Ruby bitterly. "I know it. I've known all summer, but I didn't want to give up. Oh, Anne!" Ruby reached out and grabbed Anne's hand pleadingly. "I'm afraid to die."
"Why are you afraid, Ruby?" asked Anne quietly.
"Well," Ruby replied, "I believe there is a heaven, and I think heaven must be very beautiful, of course . . . but Anne, it won't be what I'm used to."
Anne looked at Ruby and said, "I think heaven will be similar to life here. In heaven it will just be easier to be good. Don't be afraid, Ruby."
"I can't help it," said Ruby pitifully. "Even if what you say about heaven is true, it won't be the same. It can't be. I want to go on living
here
. I'm so young, Anne. I've fought so hard to live and it isn't any use. I have to die—and leave everything I care for."
Anne sat still. The silence was almost intolerable. Anne could not tell Ruby comforting lies; everything that Ruby said was horribly true. She
was
leaving everything that she cared for.
"I want to live," Ruby repeated in a trembling voice. "I want to live like other girls. I . . . I want to be married, and . . . have babies. Anne, I couldn't say this to anyone but you. I know you understand. And then poor Tony Spencer . . . He loves me and I love him, Anne. The others meant nothing to me, but
he
does, and if I could live, I would be his wife. I would be so happy. Oh, Anne!" Ruby sobbed.
Anne held Ruby's hand, and offered her silent sympathy. It was a relief to Anne not to have to use clumsy words, and her silence was a deeper comfort to Ruby.
Gradually Ruby stopped crying and became calm. "I'm glad I've told you this, Anne," she whispered. "It has helped me just to speak about it. I've wanted to talk it over with you for a long time, but I couldn't. It would have made death seem real. In the daytime, when people were around me and everything was cheerful, it wasn't that hard to stop thinking about it. But at nighttime, when I couldn't sleep, it was so dreadful, Anne. I would just lie in bed and think about death and get so scared."
Anne said, "Don't be frightened anymore, Ruby. Just believe everything will be okay."
"I'll try," Ruby replied. "I try to be brave. Please come and see me as often as you can."
"I will," Anne replied.
"It . . . it won't be very long now, Anne. I feel sure of that," said Ruby, "and I'd rather spend time with you than anyone else."
"I must go now, Ruby," Anne said. "It's getting late, and you shouldn't be out in the cold."
"Goodnight, Anne," said Ruby.
Anne walked home very slowly in the moonlight. The evening had changed something for her. Life held a different meaning, a deeper purpose. It seemed more important to her than ever to live life to the fullest, to love, and not to be afraid of the challenges that might lie ahead.
Anne never saw Ruby again. The next morning the news went from house to house that Ruby Gillis was dead. She had died in her sleep, painlessly and calmly. On her face was a smile, as if death had come as a kindly friend instead of the phantom Ruby had dreaded.
After the funeral Mrs. Gillis called Anne aside and gave her a small packet. "I want you to have this," she sobbed. "Ruby would have liked you to have it. It's some embroidery she was doing the afternoon before she died. It isn't quite finished."
Mrs. Lynde was standing with Mrs. Gillis. "There's always a piece of unfinished work left," she said with tears in her eyes. "But I suppose there's always someone to finish it."
Diana and the residents of Green Gables quietly walked home from Ruby's funeral. Davy said suddenly, "Ruby Gillis had a great laugh. Will she laugh as much in heaven as she did in Avonlea, Anne? I want to know."
"Yes, I think she will," said Anne.
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