One of the unfortunate downsides of making positive changes is that people around you sometimes get negative.
当人们在做出积极改变时，其中一个不利因素就是你周围的人有时会变得消极。
It happens with people beginning new fitness regimens.
这种情况会发生在开始新的健身方案的人们身上。
It happens with people starting new businesses and it certainly happens with people who follow tips on this channel to become more charismatic as they say, haters gonna hate.
会发生在开始新业务的人们身上，当然也发生在那些遵循本栏目的建议想变得更有魅力的人身上，正如他们所说，愤世嫉俗的人看什么都不顺眼。
In this video, you're going to discover five tips to put haters in their place when they start chirping.
在这段视频中将会讲到五个小窍门，如何让仇恨者开始叽叽喳喳的时候就把他们晾在一边，让他们杵在原地。
First, when people start hating, ignore it.
首先，当这些人开始愤世嫉俗时，忽视它。
You don't have to laugh at their point of jokes, you don't have to defend yourself or respond, and you don't even have to look at them.
你不必嘲笑他们的笑话，你不必为自己辩护或作出回应，甚至不必看他们。
Being ignored is one of the most powerful negative reinforcers and is often enough to get people to immediately change their behavior.
被忽视是最有力的消极强化因素之一，常常足以让人们立即改变自己的行为。
If you're one-on-one, you can just let an awkward silence sit and if you're in a group, just go right on talking to someone else who isn't hating.
如果你是只有两个人，一对一的情况，则可以沉浸在尴尬的沉默中，如果你是在一个小组中，请直接与不憎恶世界的人交谈。
People who are critical are usually looking for some kind of reaction and when you ignore them, they're likely to drop it.
吹毛求疵的人通常会寻找某种反应，当你忽视他们时，他们很可能也会放弃他们的挑剔。
Second, when haters are passive-aggressive, act as if they're being genuine.
其次，当仇恨者处于被动攻击时，你要表现出认为他们是真诚的。
So when you hear,"Nice sweater, bro,"respond,"Thanks. I'm glad you like it." This can be confusing and it forces the person hating to actually say what they mean or to back down.
所以当你听到“好漂亮的毛衣啊，兄弟，”你就回答，“谢谢。我很高兴你喜欢它。”这可能会让人困惑，也迫使挑剔的人不会真正说出自己的意思或者直接退缩。
Either way, you will not have to deal with passive-aggression.
不管怎样，你都不必面对被动的攻击。
Third, this very special brand of passive-aggressiveness called I could never do that you tell someone that you're living off of ramen on your quest to save enough money to move to Nashville and hit it big in the country music scene and a reply saying,"Well, I could never live like that," or you tell them your new fitness plan that cuts out all sugars and they say,"Well, I could never do that,"and then they look at you like you're crazy.
第三，这个非常特别的被动进取行为叫做“我永远无法做到”，你告诉某人你是靠拉面为生，目的是省下足够的钱搬到纳什维尔，并在乡村音乐界大放异彩，你会得到这样的回应，“好吧，我永远不能那样生活，”或者你告诉他们你的新健身计划是将所有糖去掉，然后他们会说：“好吧，我永远都不会那样做，”然后他们看着你，好像你疯了一样。
Your response should be simple.
你的回答应该很简单。
This "it's a good thing that you make decisions for you and I get to make decisions for me because if the roles were reversed, it sounds like we both be really unhappy."Go back off immediately.
“这是件好事，你为你自己做决定，我为我自己做决定，因为如果咱俩角色互换了，那样我们俩都会很不开心。”然后马上退后离开。
Fourth, when the criticism is coming from people close to you, a bit of vulnerability can go a long way.
第四，当批评来自你身边的人时，显示出一点点的脆弱反而可以起到很大的作用。
Resistance is what compels most haters to continue.
反抗是迫使大多数挑剔者继续纠缠的原因。
They'll tell you that you'll never be able to make it.
他们会告诉你，你永远都做不到。
You say that you will for these reasons and then they tell you why those reasons aren't good enough.
你说由于这些原因你会做到，然后他们再告诉你为什么这些理由不够好。
The cycle continues as long as the disagreement is about the facts but if instead of arguing the facts, you share your values and your real concerns, you're likely to have more success.
只要分歧是关于事实的，这个循环就会持续下去，但是如果你不去争论事实，而是分享你的价值观和你真正关心的问题，你很可能会获得更多的成功。
So when someone close to you says,"Your business is going to fail," respond telling them that, "Yes, it might not work out but I love what I'm doing and I'm learning a lot."
所以，当你身边的人说“你的生意会失败”时，你应该告诉他们，“是的，生意也许会做不好，但我热爱当下所做的，而且我学到了很多东西。”
Or when they say you should quit pursuing your goal as becoming more confident because it's not something they think you can learn, reply, "Confidence doesn't always come naturally to me so I have to work on it. But I have seen some improvements and it had a really positive effect on how I feel. So I'm going to keep going."
或者当他们说你应该放弃追求你的目标而变得更加自信，因为这不是他们认为你可以学习的东西，你可以这样回答，“我的自信并不总是自然而产生的，所以我必须努力。但我看到了一些进步，这对我的自我感觉产生了积极的影响。所以我要继续下去。”
People tend not to attack when you let them know the emotional reasons that you're working on something.
当你让别人知道你在做某件事的情感原因时，他们往往不会作出攻击回应。
Fifth, find a community.
第五，找到一个群体。
A lot of the hate that we deal with comes from people close to us who don't want us to change.
我们面对的许多仇恨来自与我们亲近的人，他们不希望我们改变。
They're invested in us staying the same even if it comes at the expense of our happiness and growth.
他们投资于我们的保持不变，即使这是以牺牲我们的幸福和成长为代价的。
So to limit the pushback you receive, find groups that are into what you're into.
所以，为了减少你受到的回击，找一些你喜欢的群体。
Go hang out with illustrators who like to draw comics or want-to-be comedians who practice improv at a local club.
可以与喜欢画漫画的插画家或在当地俱乐部即兴表演的喜剧演员一起出去玩。
There's a group for almost everything and you can find it if you google your town plus the activity that you're into. Meetup. com is also great for finding your tribe.
几乎所有的东西都有一个群组，如果你搜索你所在的城镇，再加上你参与的活动，你就能找到它。Meetup.com这个网站对找到你的部落也很有帮助。
So there you have it, five tips for getting haters to disappear.
所以现在你知道了，让挑剔的人消失的五个秘诀了吧。
As you want to join a tribe that is very pro self-improvement, click the button here to subscribe to the channel.
如果你想加入一个非常支持自我提升的群体，请点击这里的按钮订阅该频道。
You might even find some ways to improve that you didn't know you were interested in.
你甚至可以找到一些之前你不知道自己感兴趣的改进方法。
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