Chapter 18J

‘If I,’ said Mr. Collins, ‘were so fortunate as to be able to sing, Ishould have great pleasure, I am sure, in obliging the companywith an air; for I consider music as a very innocent diversion, andperfectly compatible with the profession of a clergyman.—I do notmean however to assert that we can be justified in devoting toomuch of our time to music, for there are certainly other things tobe attended to. The rector of a parish has much to do.—In the firstplace, he must make such an agreement for tythes as may be beneficial to himself and not offensive to his patron. He must writehis own sermons; and the time that remains will not be too muchfor his parish duties, and the care and improvement of hisdwelling, which he cannot be excused from making as comfortableas possible. And I do not think it of light importance that he shouldhave attentive and conciliatory manners towards every body,especially towards those to whom he owes his preferment. I cannotacquit him of that duty; nor could I think well of the man whoshould omit an occasion of testifying his respect towards any bodyconnected with the family.’ And with a bow to Mr Darcy, heconcluded his speech, which had been spoken so loud as to beheard by half the room.—Many stared.—Many smiled; but no onelooked more amused than Mr. Bennet himself, while his wifeseriously commended Mr. Collins for having spoken so sensibly,and observed in a half-whisper to Lady Lucas, that he was aremarkably clever, good kind of young man.To Elizabeth it appeared, that had her family made anagreement to expose themselves as much as they could during theevening, it would have been impossible for them to play their partswith more spirit, or finer success; and happy did she think it forBingley and her sister that some of the exhibition had escaped hisnotice, and that his feelings were not of a sort to be muchdistressed by the folly which he must have witnessed. That his twosisters and Mr. Darcy, however, should have such an opportunityof ridiculing her relations was bad enough, and she could notdetermine whether the silent contempt of the gentleman, or theinsolent smiles of the ladies, were more intolerable.The rest of the evening brought her little amusement. She wasteazed by Mr. Collins, who continued most perseveringly by her side, and though he could not prevail with her to dance with himagain, put it out of her power to dance with others. In vain did sheentreat him to stand up with somebody else, and offer to introducehim to any young lady in the room. He assured her that as todancing, he was perfectly indifferent to it; that his chief object wasby delicate attentions to recommend himself to her, and that heshould therefore make a point of remaining close to her the wholeevening. There was no arguing upon such a project. She owed hergreatest relief to her friend Miss Lucas, who often joined them, andgood-naturedly engaged Mr. Collins’s conversation to herself.