Maybe We All Need a Little Less Balance
By Brad Stulberg
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been told to strive for balance. Yet I’ve noticed something interesting: The times in my life during which I’ve felt happiest and most alive are also the times that I’ve been the most unbalanced.
Falling in love. Writing a book. Trekking/trɛk/ in the Himalayas/hɪ'mɑljəz/. Training to set a personal/'pɝsənl/ record in a triathlon/traɪˈæθlən/. During these bouts/baut/ of full-on living I was completely consumed by my activity. Trying to be balanced — devoting equal proportions/prə'pɔrʃən/ of time and energy to other areas of my life — would have detracted/dɪ'trækt/ from the formative/'fɔrmətɪv/ experiences.
It’s not just me. Nearly all of the great performers I’ve gotten to know — from athletes to artists to computer programmers to entrepreneurs — report a direct line between being happy, fulfilled and at their best and going all-in on something. Rich Roll, a top ultra/'ʌltrə/-endurance/ɪn'dʊrəns/ athlete/'æθlit/, told me that “the path to fulfillment in life, to emotional satisfaction, is to find what you really excites you and channel/'tʃænl/ your all into it.” Dr. Michael Joyner, a top researcher at the Mayo Clinic, says “you’ve got to be a minimalist /'mɪnɪmlɪst/ to be a maximalist/'mæksəməlɪst/; if you want to be really good, master and thoroughly/ˈ θə..olɪ/ enjoy one thing, you’ve got to say no to many others.” Nic Lamb, one of the best big-wave surfers on the planet, speaking of his relentless pursuit of excellence in the water, puts it like this: “The best way to find contentment is to give it your all.”
Perhaps we could all use a little more unbalance in our lives.
In the 1990s, the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi introduced the term flow, a mental state during which people become wholly immersed in the activity they are doing and their perception of time and space is altered/ˈɔltɚ/, their entire being filled with enjoyment. A telltale/'tɛltel/ sign of these optimal/'ɑptəml/ experiences, of “being in the zone,” is that the outside world disappears. In such a state, flow and balance are irreconcilable/ɪ'rɛkənsaɪləbl/. And compared to flow, balance seems, for lack of a better term, boring.
And yet there is still a cost of pursuing something full-on: all of the other things that you leave behind as a result. When you are wholly immersed in anything, it’s all too easy to let the inertia/ɪ'nɝʃə/ of the experience carry you forward without ever really evaluating/ɪ'væljʊ,et/ what you’re sacrificing/'sækrɪfaɪs/ along the way; for example, time with friends and family, other hobbies, even simple pleasures/'pleʒɚ/ like catching up on the latest episodes/'episəud/ of “Game of Thrones/θrəun/.”
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