When was the last time that you thought about attraction?
你上一次想到「魅力」是什么时候？
Was it an hour ago? Five minutes? 10 seconds?
一小时前？五分钟前？十秒前？
It's likely that other people are thinking about it as much as you are.
其他人烦恼这件事的频率可能跟你一样。
Here are seven psychological things we do that make us less attractive.
以下告诉你七件在心理层面上会使你失去魅力的事情。
Number one: Acting cool and distant
第一：装酷、保持距离。
While procrastination might feel good, it isn't attractive.
拖延的感觉可能挺不错的，但是会让你魅力锐减。
In 1992, two psychologists named Morland and Beach were curious about the relationship between how many times you see someone and how attractive you find them.
1992 年，有两名叫做 Morland 和 Beach 的心理学家因好奇而研究见面次数与魅力值的关联性。
They had four women pretend to be students in a large intro psych class.
他们要四名女子假装是大班制心理学概论课程的学生。
At the end of the semester, students in the class were asked to rate how attractive they found each of the women.
学期末的时候，班上学生要为四名女子的魅力值评分。
What the researchers found was that the fewer classes a woman attended, the less attractive they were rated by other students.
研究显示，只要这名女子越少来班上上课，同学对于她的魅力值评分就会越低。
The other students basically forgot about her.
因为其他学生基本上已经忘记她是谁了。
I'll try and remember this study the next time I have to psych myself up to go to class.
下次做心理准备去上课前，我会记得这个实验结果的。
Number two: Acting clingy
第二：太黏。
It's the classic young love phenomenon — constantly hanging out together.
年轻人谈恋爱的典型样子会是——无时无刻黏在一起。
Three social psychologists from the University of California, San Diego, conducted a study on the relationship between people's physical proximity and how much they like each other.
圣地亚哥加州大学的三位社会心理学家曾研究过实体邻近度与好感度的关系。
The researchers made a surprising discovery; they asked students to name who they liked and disliked.
研究者有惊人的发现；他们要学生说出自己喜欢和不喜欢的人。
The researchers found that the students' most-liked people were those who they frequently met face-to-face.
他们发现，学生最喜欢的人是与他们频繁见面的人。
But the researchers also found that the students' least-favorite people were those with whom they were forced to spend time.
但同时也发现，学生最不喜欢的人是那些被迫得频繁见面的人。
In other words, watch out that spending time with your crush doesn't end up with you getting on their nerves.
所以换句话说，跟你的暗恋对象待在一起时要注意不要黏到让他们心烦。
Number three: Acting as if you don't like your date all that much
第三：假装没那么喜欢约会对象。
When Grandma told you, "It always pays to smile," were her words backed up by science?
奶奶告诉你：“要常常保持微笑。”她有任何科学根据吗？
Psychologist Curtis and Miller randomly paired participants.
心理学家 Curtis 和 Miller 随机配对参与实验者。
One student in the pair was led to believe that their partner either liked or disliked them.
配对中的其中一方会被告知对方喜欢或不喜欢自己。
Those who thought they were liked were nicer, and their partners ended up liking them more.
认为对方喜欢自己的学生会表现得比较友善，对方也会相对应地更喜欢他。
The researchers concluded that so-called reciprocal liking is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
所以最终的研究结论是：所谓的相互喜欢是一种自我应验预言。
If your partner thinks you like them, they'll be nicer to you, which in turn makes the whole relationship better.
如果你的实验伙伴觉得你喜欢他们，他们就会对你比较好，最终就会让整体关系变好。
And the opposite is also true; if they think that you don't like them, they'll be meaner, and the whole relationship will suffer.
而反之亦然，如果他们觉得你不喜欢他们，他们的态度就会比较差，两人的关系就会变得不好。
Turns out that Grandma was onto something.
所以我们会发现，奶奶的话不无道理。
Number four: Revealing too much, too soon
第四：太快透漏太多信息。
In 2011, researchers told female undergrads that their Facebook profiles had been viewed by male students and that they would now be viewing the profiles of those guys.
2011 年，研究者告诉一些女大学生她们的 Facebook 个人信息被一些男同学看过了，而她们现在也要去看那些男生的资料。
You can probably imagine that the women were intrigued.
你可能可以想象，这些女生产生好奇心了。
The women were split into groups and were told either that he liked their profile or that the researchers didn't know whether he liked their profile.
这些女同学被分成不同组别，有的人被告知这些男同学喜欢自己，而有的人是被告知，不知道那些男同学喜不喜欢自己。
The women were most attracted to the men who didn't reveal whether they liked the women.
女生会最容易被那些没有透露他们喜不喜欢自己的男生吸引。
Why?
为什么呢？
The researchers decided that the more the women pondered the mysterious man, the more he was on their mind and the more intrigued they became.
研究者认为这是因为，女生越想着这些神秘的男生，这些男生就越能占据她们的思绪，也让她们更加好奇。
Austin Powers' nickname was actually pretty honest.
Austin Powers 的绰号其实也取得很实在。
The magical man of mystery does get the dates.
神秘男子的确能约到更多对象。
Number five: Going on boring dates
第五：无聊的约会。
Two psychologists in Vancouver, Canada, did a study on misattribution of arousal, which is when people make mistaken inferences about what is causing them to feel the way they do.
加拿大温哥华的两名心理学家研究过「生理激发的错误归因」，也就是说人对于自己的心理感觉原因会有错误的推理。
They had an attractive female research assistant give male participants a questionnaire.
他们请了一个非常有魅力的女性研究助理给男性参与者问卷。
In the first group, she asked them the questions while they were on a scary suspension bridge.
她站在非常恐怖的吊桥上给第一组实验者填问卷。
In the second group, she asked them while on a low, small bridge.
而第二组实验者站在低矮的桥上。
Those on the scary bridge were more excited because of the bridge and were more attracted to the research assistant and more likely to call her later.
那些站在危险吊桥上的人会比较亢奋，也比较容易被那个研究助理吸引，实验结束后也比较容易打电话给她。
On your next date, don't just get coffee.
所以呢，下次要约会的时候，不要只喝喝咖啡。
That's boring. Instead, go see fireworks or ride go-karts.
真的很无聊。你可以考虑去看烟火或去玩卡丁车。
Number Six: Using cheesy pickup lines
第六：用很“油”的搭讪用语。 [欧 路]
Psychologists who study attraction have identified three general strategies for pickup lines.
研究吸引力的心理学家把搭讪用语分成三类。
Cute, flippant—for example, "Your place or mine"?
轻浮的——例如：“要去你家还是我家？”
Innocuous—such as, "What do you think of the music"?
无害的——例如：“你觉得音乐好听吗？”
And direct—as in, "Can I buy you lunch"?
直接的——例如：“我可以请你吃午餐吗？”
A study asked men and women which pickup lines they prefer to receive.
某个研究曾问过男性和女性比较喜欢听到哪种搭讪用语。
Most strategies worked for men being approached by women.
如果是女性主动搭讪的话，三种类型的搭讪用语对男生来说都有效。
However, women tend to prefer innocuous and direct lines over cute, flippant ones.
但女性比较喜欢无害或直接版的搭讪用语，对轻浮的搭讪词就没什么好感。
Bottom line: Groaners aren't attractive.
最重要的就是：冷笑话一点魅力也没有。
So now you know.
那你现在知道了。 每日英语
Asking someone, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven" is scientifically the lamest possible thing to say.
问别人“你从天堂掉下来的时候不会痛吗？”大概是科学角度上最烂的搭讪词了。
Number seven: Not having a wingman or wingwoman
第七点：没带陪你一起壮胆的伙伴。
Some people treat dating like a competition, but did you also know that there's lots of room for cooperation among friends?
有的人会把约会当成是比赛，但你知道其实朋友互相合作成功机会会高很多吗？
Having a third party make the introduction may be the best strategy of all for guys trying to pick up women.
对于想要追女生的男生来说，让第三方介绍你是最好的策略。
Especially in today's dating world where there's more choice than ever, daters have to overcome many hurdles in order to catch someone's interest.
特别是现今约会的市场中，大家的选择多了很多，你得克服很多难关才有办法引起某人的注意。
Having someone make the introduction for you automatically moves you past the difficult first stage, and it makes it clear that you're nice enough to have friends.
让别人介绍你可以让你自动跨越困难的第一阶段，因为这会让你看起来是很善良且有朋友的人。
Sorry, James Bond, but in the real world, the best romancers work in pairs.
抱歉，詹姆斯·邦德，但在现实生活中，最会追别人的人都是跟伙伴一起行动的。
In today's fast-paced dating world, people are quickly judged on first impressions.
在现今这种步调快速的约会世界中，大家很容易用第一印象评断他人。
But don't worry.
但别担心。
All you have to do is make sure you never do any of these seven unattractive things, and you'll do fine.
你只需要记得，千万不要做出上面七种让你魅力大减的事情，就没问题了。
Although, bringing chocolates never hurts, either.
当然，带巧克力送对方永远不会错。
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