How to Network With Busy People, Part 11
By Steve Pavlina
Don’t apologize for reaching out.
Never begin your first contact with an apology./ə'pɑlədʒi/
Every week people send me emails that begin with phrases/frez/ like, “Sorry to bother/'bɑðɚ/ you, but…” What does this tell me about the other person’s expectations for connecting with me? It tells me they expect to bother me. Who am I to argue with them? Delete… next.
If you hint that you’re about to irritate/'ɪrɪtet/ or annoy/ə'nɔɪ/ someone, they’ll assume you’re right. Why should they do otherwise?
You might think that you’re just being polite/pə'laɪt/ and respectful. Are you really? Or would it be more accurate/'ækjərət/ to say that deep down, you don’t feel equal to the person you’re contacting?
If you have to apologize for bothering /'bɑðɚ/ someone, maybe you shouldn’t be contacting them at all… at least not until you do a bit more work on your self-esteem/ɪ'stim/.
“Excuse me…” is another weak opener. Why do you need to be excused/ɪkˈskjuz/? Are you doing something wrong?
If you’re going to approach a busy person, do so as an equal/'ikwəl/. Don’t act like an equal. Know you’re equal.
It doesn’t matter which person on this planet you wish to connect with – We’re all equal. We’re all part of the same whole. Why should you feel intimidated/ɪn'tɪmɪdet/ to meet another piece of humanity?
Don’t put busy people or celebrities/sə'lɛbrəti/ on a pedestal/'pɛdɪstl/. They may have a lot of accomplishments under their belt/bɛlt/. They may be famous. So what? They’re still human just like everyone else. Don’t mistake the public image for the real person underneath/ˌʌndɚ'niθ/.
Be secure in who you are. Know that whenever you reach out to connect with someone, you’re offering something of value. The value is who you are. If you don’t think you’re worth knowing, you need to spend more time getting in touch with your own value. Of course you’re worth knowing.
If you want to be worthy of a busy person’s time and attention, then know that you deserve/dɪ'zɝv/ it.
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