Ladies and gentlemen, we have an Emmy host Jimmy Kimmel tonight
Thank you for that.
Before I started, I'd like to do something very fast. Please wait a minute.
Where did Jeffrey Tambor sit?
- Jeffrey? - where's there?
Take it
OK
Well, what else can we save for 22 minutes?
The rest of the play, if you don't have a dragon or a white Ford wild horse, can go home now
I also want to mention the winner of the "best invitation" contest tonight
Sarah Paulaon plays the role of Marcia Clark
She invited Marcia Clark myself tonight
This company is good
Because everyone in Losangeles knows to win and sit next to Marcia Clark
Hey Marcia it must be a strange feeling, I mean...
Do you expect Simpson to win this time?
The American crime stories are all coming
John Travolta also came to welcome back... To TV John Travolta we welcome you
The... Do you want to thank Simpson if you win the prize? I mean...
How do you deal with this situation? If it wasn't him, you wouldn't be nominated today, right?
Cuba is more true for you.
Cuba Gooding Jr. has done so well in the "American crime story: the Simpson prosecution."
He played Simpson so well that I now believe it might really be Cuba.
We are together tonight
To celebrate these wonderful programs that we don't have time to watch on TV.
The brilliant TV show can make you laugh and make you cry
Some of the key parts of the game of power
Can let you watch the line
Oh, I mean it.
Embarrassed snow
Hello, snow, you know you are my "default on"
Happy they put snow to revive a nice surprise.
68 years, TV art is still full of surprises
Never thought my favorite screen would be Louie Anderson
But he is... Louie is playing
If you haven't seen his mother as Zach Galifianakis in the cradle of the clown dream
It's supposed to be looking for a woman to do it
But there were too few stars at the age of 50 to find the Louie.
Fortunately for all of you here, more and more roles are becoming more and more diverse now.
This year's nomination is the most diverse in history
The only more important thing in Hollywood is to show off more attention to pluralism than diversification.
We... The Emmy Awards tell you that Amy is too diverse this year
It was Oscar that said we were one of their best friends.
By the way, we are not
But it's true
This is a great thing.
You need to stop and think about what we have achieved
In fact, the minority in the audience
Especially if it is nominated
Now look for a white man. It's not hard to see.
With a little time to extend the hand of friendship to them for their bravery.
Come to the rainbow and join me.
Is this beautiful? How beautiful
TV art unite people
But TV art can also split people
I mean, if not because of TV. Donald Donald Trump will select the president? It can't be true
He will now be quietly rubbing on his sleeping wife, "malaria," at home
Many people ask out of a Donald. Trump really blame Trump phenomenon in the end who complain
I tell everyone who is sitting there.
That's right, that guy
Mark Burnett brought us the "celebrity apprenticeship"
Because he's not going to see the reality show anymore
Because we thank you for living on a reality show, Mark
Thank you for coming all the way from Britain to split the United States with a complicated and intricate plan.
Your crafty, crafty little Englishman
Who are you going to choose the high bench judge? Miley Cyrus or Cee Lo
I am now formally saying that it is his misfortune
If Trump really really elected to build walls
We're the first to throw the Mark Burnet out
The tribe has made a decision
There's another thing we have this year to change
We have a new rule for the first time this year
You must be present to win the prize
If we call your name you don't take the prize, then give it to the next person on the list.
This is called the "Maggie Smith rule"
If you don't know who Maggie Smith is, she's got the nine nomination.
Three times
Guess how many times she gave it?
Zero time
She can't have a pottery class on Sunday.
Maggie Smith heard that she nominated Amy
As we see in the mail, Bed, Bath, and Bryonce 20% discount coupons are the same
Throw in the trash can
But she went to the other award ceremony.
Go to Oscar to lead the little gold
Toni's drama prize
Go to the music award for the soul train every year
But is there her in the audience today?
I can't see it anyway
She was a "escape" manor
The nine time, why are we so cheap to nominate the woman?
She treats us as "the people's Choice Award"
I want to tell you, Maggie Smith if you put in to see if
If you want the Emmy Award, you'd better get on the plane right now
Give me your honourable buttocks
Well, are you ready to reinvigorate the Emmy Award?
Well
Let's give out a little point cup. Do you say good?
女士们 先生们 有请今晚艾美奖主持人Jimmy Kimmel
谢谢大家 真好
开始前我想先做一件事 很快的 请稍等一下
Jeffrey Tambor坐在哪儿了？
- Jeffrey？-那儿呢 那儿呢
拿着吧
好啦
好了 咱们省了22分钟 还有啥？
剩下的 要是你参与的剧 没有龙或白色福特野马 现在就可以回家了
我还想提一下今晚“最佳邀请”竞赛的赢家
Sarah Paulaon扮演了Marcia Clark
今晚她把Marcia Clark本人请来了
这伴儿真好
因为在洛杉矶人人都知道 要想赢就坐 Marcia Clark旁边
嗨 Marcia 这感觉一定很奇特吧 我是说…
你这次会盼着辛普森赢么？
《美国犯罪故事》剧组都来了
John Travolta也来了 欢迎回…归电视界John Travolta 我们欢迎你
那…问你一句 你赢奖的话 要感谢辛普森么？我是说…
这个情况怎么处理？ 确实要不是他 你今天也不会提名对吗？
Cuba 对你来说更是如此
Cuba Gooding Jr. 在《美国犯罪故事：辛普森公诉案》 里演得太好了
他演辛普森演得太好了 我现在都相信可能真是Cuba 干的了
今晚我们欢聚一堂
来庆祝这些反正我们也没时间在电视上看的精彩节目
辉煌灿烂的电视节目啊 能让你笑 让你哭
而《权力的游戏》 的某些关键部分
能让你边看边撸
哦 我就指这
囧雪诺
雪诺你好啊 你知道吗 你是我的“默认可上”
好开心他们把雪诺给复活了 是个不错的惊喜
68年了电视艺术还是充满惊喜
万万没想到 我最喜欢的荧幕妈咪 竟然会是 Louie Anderson
不过他就是…Louie演的是
如果您还没看过 他在《小丑梦摇篮》中扮演Zach Galifianakis 的妈妈
本来是想找女性来演的
但是50岁以上 缺戏演的女星太少了 于是就找了Louie
对于在座各位来讲 幸运的是 现在剧集越来越多 角色越来越多 也越来越多元化
今年的提名 是史上最多元的
在好莱坞唯一比多元化更受重视的 就是炫耀自己多重视多元化
我们…艾美奖 我跟大家讲 今年艾美太多元
搞得奥斯卡都套近乎 说我们是他们最好的朋友之一
顺便提一句 我们并不是
不过说真的
这是大好事
大家需要停下来 想想我们取得的成就
事实上 观众中的少数族裔
尤其如果提名了的话
现在 请找一位白人 来吧 应该不难 眼前一堆
用一点时间 向他们伸出友谊之手 以感谢他们的勇敢
来嘛 彩虹联结一下 我想…
这画面美吧？多美好
电视艺术团结大家
不过 电视艺术也能分裂大家
我是说 如果不是因为电视 唐纳德.川普会精选总统吗？不会吧
他现在会在家 静静地在装睡的老婆“疟疾”身上蹭
很多人问出了个唐纳德.川普到底怨谁 川普现象到底怨谁
我告诉大家是谁 他就坐在那
没错 就是那家伙
Mark Burnett 为我们带来《名人学徒》的人
因为他 我们再也不要看真人秀了
因为我们就活在真人秀中 谢谢你啊 Mark
感谢你一路从英国赶来 用阴险复杂的计谋分裂美国 你成功了
你这个嚼圆饼的狡猾小英国佬 你
高法替补大法官你打算选谁？ Miley Cyrus还是 Cee Lo
我现在正式说一下 就是他的祸
如果川普真当选 真建墙
我们第一个就把 Mark Burnet扔出去
部落已经做出决定
还有件事 我们今年有个改变
我们有个新规定 今年 有史以来第一次
必须在场才能赢奖
如果我们叫你的名字 你不来领奖 那就改颁给名单上的下一个人
这叫“Maggie Smith规则”
如果你不知道Maggie Smith是谁 她拿了九次提名了
赢了三次
大家猜猜她颁了几次？
没错 零次
今年她周日有节陶艺课不能翅
Maggie Smith听说她提名艾美
跟我们在邮件里看到Bed, Bath, and Bryonce 20%折扣券反应一样
直接扔进垃圾桶
可是别的颁奖礼她就去
去奥斯卡领小金人
吃席托尼戏剧奖
每年都去灵魂列车音乐奖
但今天观众席里有她吗？
反正我看不见
她又“遁”庄园了她
九次了 我们咋这么贱 干吗老提名这女人？
她都把我们当“人民选择奖”对待了
我要告诉你 怂人Maggie Smith 如果你拔冗在看的话
想要艾美奖的话 你最好现在就上飞机
把你那尊贵的屁股给我移过来
好了 大家准备好重振艾美奖了吗？
好的
我们来分发点尖头小奖杯吧 大家说好不好？
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