听完这些毒舌漫画的句子，我受到了一万点伤害

New Words:

jellyfish 美 ['dʒɛlɪfɪʃ] n. 水母；
buffalo美 ['bʌfəlo] n.水牛；
despite美 [dɪ'spaɪt] prep. 尽管，不管
athletic美 [æθ'lɛtɪk] adj. 运动的，运动员的；
 
01.The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is
great news for stupid people.-
蠢也没那么可怕，毕竟水母木有脑子，也活了6.5亿年。


 
02.It is impossible to lose weight just be eating salads. Ever looked at buffaloes? They eat only grass.
只吃沙拉是不可能减肥的，没看见牛吗？它们只吃草
 


03. How to get a woman mad in two easy steps :
a. Take a picture of her
b. Don't show it to her


如何逼疯一个姑娘？
a. 给她拍照
b.不给她看

04.I'm so athletic. I surf the Internet.
我是个运动健将。我热衷于冲浪，不过是在网上。
 
05. I have a rule: If temperature is less than my age, I don't get out of bed.
我有一个原则, 当气温低于我的年龄时,我就不起床。


 
06. I've never been in love, but I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
我从没有谈过恋爱, 但我想这种感觉相当于目睹服务员--- 端着你的食物向你走来。


 
07. Top 4 wishes:
a. To earn money without working.
b. To be smart without studying.
c. To love without being hurt.
d. To eat without getting fat.


四个最想实现的愿望：
a.不劳而获
b.不学有术
c.相爱无伤
d.狂吃不胖
 
08. Of course I am in shape! Round is a shape.
我当然很有型,胖也是一种形嘛!

09. Strength is the ability to break chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and
eat just one of those pieces.
真的勇士就是可以徒手将巧克力掰成四瓣,却只吃其中一块。

（引自https://www.lingvistov.com/）