FORGIVENESS
Anonymous
For some peopleforgiveness feels impossible because they have no idea how to go about it. Thefirst and most important thing you need to accept is that the act of forgivenessis not going to be easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing most ofus ever have to do.
It seems totallyunfair that we should have to forgive when we're the ones who have been hurt.And that's the crux of forgiveness. It seems unfair because it is unfair.Otherwise, what is the need of forgiveness? Forgiveness is about pardoningthings that are essentially inexcusable. After all, if something can beexcused, it doesn't need forgiving, does it?
The saying"forgive and forget" may roll off the tongue, but it's as shallow asit is short. For one thing, it's downright impossible. For another, it missesthe whole point of forgiveness. The things we most need to forgive in life arethe things we can't forget. Rather than sweeping them under the carpet, we needto draw a line under them, deliberately choosing not to count them against theperson who did them, and moving on.
That's why,sometimes, the initial act of forgiveness may seem relatively easy, but dealingwith the emotions that follow every time you see that person, speak to them orjust think about them can be harder to deal with. True forgiveness is not anact; it's a constant emotional confrontation.
And the longer youwait to forgive someone, the harder it becomes. Time really doesn't heal; itjust gives the bitterness and resentment longer to eat away at you from inside.If you wait for the "right time", you may never do it.
宽恕
对于有些人来讲，他们觉得宽恕别人似乎是不可能的，因为他们不知道怎样去宽恕。首先且最紧要的就是：你要明白宽恕他人并非易事。事实上，宽恕他人可能是我们当中大部分人不得不做的最艰难的一件事。
我们是被伤害的那个人，却不得不去宽恕，这看起来好像完全不公平。但是，这正是宽恕的核心所在。它之所以看起来不公平，是因为它本来就不公平。不然的话，宽恕的价值何在？宽恕就是宽容那些原本不能谅解的事。毕竟，假如事情都能够被谅解，那就不需要宽恕了，不是吗？
一句“既往不咎”也许可以脱口而出，但这句话的浅显就像它的简短。一方面，很明显这是完全做不到的；另一方面，它漏掉了宽恕的关键部分。生活里，我们最需要宽恕的是那些我们不能忘记的事。与其掩盖那些事实，我们不如把它们标记出来，然后有意识的不将错误归于做事的人，之后继续前行。
这就是为何最初宽恕时好像相对容易，可日后每次见到那些人，与他们说话，或是一想起他们，却会更加难以控制自己的情绪。真正的宽恕不是一种行动，而是一个持久的情感对抗的过程。
等待的时间越久，宽恕一个人便会越艰难。时间治愈不了伤口，它只会令你花更长久的时间去痛苦与怨恨。然后任由这些不良情绪啃噬你的内心。如果你总在等待宽恕的时机，那你就永远都做不到宽恕。
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