全场爆笑！时隔7年，黄西再上美国深夜秀

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全场爆笑！时隔7年，黄西再上美国深夜秀

stephen:hey, everybody,welcome back to the show.

folks,my next guest is a stand-up comedian and the host of my favoritelate-night show in china, "is it true?"

pleasewelcome, all the way from beijing, joe wong!

hello. hi,everybody. hello, people up there.hello.

so, iam actually an american immigrant. and they say that america isa country of immigrants.

so ihave to ask you guys-- please, leave my country. i'm serious.we havea zero-tolerance policy right now.

i heardthat asians have become the fastest growing immigrant group inamerica, which is really amazing because mexicans can cross the riverand come here.

and ihad to fly thousands of miles to mexico-- and then cross that river.

trumpwants to build a wall to stop immigration.

i'mfrom china. so i know a lot about walls. they don't work. andsince it's later, it's just going to become a huge tourist

attraction.

but ido respect trump, though, because after he took office,

therewas the k.k.k. march, anti-k.k.k. march, women's march, anti-childseparation march.

and youknow how much americans hate exercise.

he hascontributed more to americans' health than all of the y.m.c.a.scombined.

and healso contributes to the health of other countries, because laughteris the best medicine.

i mean,you have seen his performance at the u.n. he killed.

theywere probably even a better audience than you guys are. justkidding. you guys are great.

my sonwas born and raised in america. i remember one day hecame home-- he came home from school.

thatwas when he was about five years old. he said to me, "hey, dad,i learned american history today."

i said,wow, that's great."

hesaid, "now i really feel bad for black people."

i said,"yeah, they're really mistreated in american history."

hesaid, "yeah, and i'm so glad that i'm white."

i said,"hold on. you're not white." he said, "what ami?"

i said,"you're yellow." this is a true story.

he tooka look at i had hand. he was like, "daddy, this doesn't lookyellow to me." i said, "yes, i know, but this is americaand everybody has to have a color, and that's the color they gaveus. you better deal with it."

but myson has a good point,  though. nobody in america, especially a personof color, is exactly the color they are assigned,  you know.

like,this is not exactly yellow. it's kind of brown. a black personis not exactly black.

they'rekind of brown. so we're pretty much all different shades ofmexicans. so, white people, please don't feel left out.

i havea lot of things in common with white guys. for example, i have anasian wife. all right, that's about my time.

thankyou guys so much. thank you very much.