声音简介
And tell me I wasn’t dreaming that night when I heard a noise outside the landing by my door and suddenly knew that someone was in my room, someone was sitting at the foot of my bed, thinking, thinking, thinking, and finally started moving up toward me and was now lying, not next to me, but on top of me, while I lay on my tummy, and that I liked it so much that, rather than risk doing anything to show I’d been awakened or to let him change his mind and go away, I feigned to be fast asleep, thinking, This is not, cannot, had better not be a dream, because the words that came to me, as I pressed my eyes shut, were, This is like coming home, like coming home after years away among Trojans4 and Lestrygonians, like coming home to a place where everyone is like you, where people know, they just know—coming home as when everything falls into place and you suddenly realize that for seventeen years all you’d been doing was fiddling with the wrong combination. Which was when I decided to convey without budging, without moving a single muscle in my body, that I’d be willing to yield if you pushed, that I’d already yielded, was yours, all yours, except that you were suddenly gone and though it seemed too true to be a dream, yet I was convinced that all I wanted from that day onward was for you to do the exact same thing you’d done in my sleep.
也请告诉我那天晚上我不是无端做梦。我听到门边的楼梯平台传来一阵噪音，突然意识到有人进了我房间，就坐在我的床尾，思量、思量、再三思量，总算往我这边移来，而后躺倒下来 —— 不是躺在我身边，而是压在趴着的我身上。我是多么喜欢这样子，因此丝毫不敢贸然而动，以免让他察觉他吵醒了我、或让他改变主意掉头离开。我假装酣睡，脑中一片轰然，想着：这不是、不可能是、最好不是一场梦。当我克制着紧闭双眼，此时所能想到的就只有：“这就像归乡”。就像外出多年与特洛伊人和莱斯特律戈涅斯人作战后，终于回到只有同类的国度，那儿的人了解，他们就是了解；就像回到故里，尘埃落定，万事就绪，你突然醒悟原来这十七年来你只是虚度时光，不断与错误的人群瞎搅和。就是在这一刻，我决定一动也不动，以身体镇定的姿态告诉他：如果你前进一步，我愿意屈服；我已然屈服于你，我是你的，全是你的。然而你却突然离开了。虽然感觉太过真实，不像一场梦，但我深信从那天开始，我一心企盼着你对我做你在我睡梦中做的事，一模一样的事。
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