英语美文：I am surrounded by love

Personal relationships always seem to be the first priority for many of us. Perhaps you are always searching for love. Hunting for love doesn't always bring the right partner because the reasons for wanting love are unclear. 

对于我们很多人而言，私密关系貌似是我们最重视的事。可能你一直在寻找真爱。去寻找爱并不一定会让你遇见对的人，因为你想要爱的原因并不清楚。

We think oh if I only had someone who loved me my life would be so much better but that's not the way it works. There is a big difference between the need for love and being needy for love. When you are needy for love it simply means that you are missing love and approval from the most important person you know, yourself.
我们会想，啊，如果有人爱我的话，我的生活会变得好很多。但这并不能算原因。需要爱，和缺爱，是完全不一样的。当你缺爱的时候，没有人爱你，于你而言最重要的人没有给你肯定，而这个人就是你自己。

You may become involved in relationships that are codependent and ineffectual for both partners. You can never create love in your life by talking or thinking about being lonely. Feeling lonely and needy just pushes people away. You cannot heal a relationship in your life by talking or thinking about how awful it is now. This only puts the attention on the problem not the solution. 
你可能身陷那种相互依赖的、对于双方而言都是名存实亡的感情。如果你一直在想、一直在说自己很孤单，那你永远无法在生活中创造爱。如果你很孤独、很缺爱，那么没有人愿意接近你。如果你一直埋怨、一直纠结于你现在的亲密关系有多糟糕，这是无法让这段关系变好的。这只会让你把注意力全都放在问题、而不是解决办法上。

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