英语美文：Hard choices, easy life

So, this happy pic of me was taken in 1999. I was a senior in college, and it was right after a dance practice.I was really, really happy. And I remember exactly where I was about a week and a half later. I was sitting in the back of my used minivan in a campus parking lot, when I decided I was going to commit suicide. 

我这张快乐的照片拍摄于1999年。当年我大四，拍摄于舞蹈练习之后。我当时非常开心。我清楚地记得在一周半之后，我坐在我旧的小货车后座，在校园停车场，当时我决定我要自杀。

I went from deciding to full-blown planning very quickly. And I came this close to the edge of the precipice. It's the closest I've ever come. And the only reason I took my finger off the trigger was thanks to a few lucky coincidences. And after the fact, that's what scared me the most: the element of chance.
我很快下定决心并有了周全的计划,然而我悬崖勒马,死亡近在咫尺。我未扣动扳机的唯一原因是一些幸运的巧合。在此之后我意识到真正让我恐惧的是机会。

So I became very methodical about testing different ways that I could manage my ups and downs, which has proven to be a good investment. (Laughs) Many normal people might have, say, six to 10 major depressive episodes in their lives. I have bipolar depression. It runs in my family. 
因此我开始井然有序地尝试不同方式来控制我生活的跌宕起伏，现在看来这是个不错的投资。大部分普通人一生中会有6-10 次较为严重的抑郁阶段。我有两极型忧郁症，是我家的遗传病。
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