September25, 1995
DearCatherine,
Amonth has passed since I've written, but it has seemed to pass much moreslowly. Life passes by now like the scenery outside a car window. I breathe andeat and sleep as I always did, but there seems to be no great purpose in mylife that requires active participation on my part. I simply drift along likethe messages I write you. I do not know where I am going or when I will getthere.
Evenwork does not take the pain away. I may be diving for my own pleasure orshowing others how to do so, but when I return to the shop, it seems emptywithout you. I stock and order as I always did, but even now, I sometimesglance over my shoulder without thinking and call for you. As I write this noteto you, I wonder when, or if, things like that will ever stop.
Withoutyou in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching thecrowds for your face-I know it is an impossibility, but I cannot help myself.My search for you is a never-ending quest that is doomed to fail. You and I hadtalked about what would happen if we were forced apart by circumstance, but Icannot keep the promise I made to you that night. I am sorry, my darling, butthere will never be another to replace you. The words I whispered to you werefolly, and I should have realized it then. You — and you alone — have always beenthe only thing I wanted, and now that you are gone, I have no desire to findanother. Till death do us part, we whispered in the church, and I've come tobelieve that the words will ring true until the day finally comes when I, too,am taken from this world.
Garrett
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