An old letter from Manzhen
by Eileen Chang- excerpted from Chapter 16
He leafed through the pages and found an envelope inserted betweenthem. It was folded in half, and the paper had yellowed. An old letter fromManzhen. He’d got rid of her letters and photographs a long time ago; they onlymade him feel worse. This was the only one left, the letter he couldn’t bear todestroy. He slumped down and started to read. It must have been written backwhen his father was sick and he’d rushed to Nanking.
他信手翻了翻，忽然看见书页里夹着一张信笺，双折着，纸张已经泛黄了，是曼桢从前写给他的一封信。曼桢的信和照片，他早已全都销毁了，因为留在那里徒增怅惘，就剩这一封信，当时不知道为什么，竟没有舍得把它消灭掉。他不知不觉一歪身坐了下来，拿着这封信看着。大约是他因为父亲生病，回南京去的时候，她写给他的。
It said:
Dear Shijun,
It’s night, and everyone is asleep. The only sound is the chirpingof the crickets my brothers are keeping. The weather’s getting colder, and youleft in such a hurry I’m afraid you didn’t take any winter clothing. I know youlet these things pass you right by, and never think to wear warm clothing. Idon’t know why I’m worrying about it either, it seems so fussy to me. It’s justthat I keep turning anything I see, anything I hear, into a reason to think ofyou.
信上说：
世钧，
现在是夜里，家里的人都睡了，静极了，只听见弟弟他们买来的蟋蟀的鸣声。这两天天气已经冷起来了，你这次走得这样匆忙，冬天的衣服一定没有带去吧？我想你对这些事情向来马马虎虎，冷了也不会想到加衣裳的。我也不知怎么老是惦记着这些，自己也嫌罗唆。随便看见什么，或是听见别人说一句什么话，完全不相干的，我脑子里会马上转几个弯，立刻就想到你。
I went to Shuhui’s yesterday, though I knew he wouldn’t be athome, to see his parents. You’ve lived with them a long while, and I thoughtmaybe I’d hear something about you. His mother told me lots of things I didn’tknow. She said you used to be even thinner, and told me stories from yourstudent days. It made me feel better. After you’d left, I started to feelafraid, for no particular reason.
昨天到叔惠家里去了一趟，我也知道他不会在家的，我就是想去看看他父亲母亲，因为你一直跟他们住在一起的，我很希望他们会讲起你。叔惠的母亲说了好些关于你的事，都是我不知道的。她说你从前比现在还要瘦，又说起你在学校里的一些琐事。我听她说着这些话，我真觉得安慰，因为你走了有些时了我就有点恐惧起来了，无缘无故的。
Shijun, I want you to know there’s someone in this world who’s yoursalways. Please know that, forever and wherever. Yours, always.
Reading over that last line, he could almost hear her speaking tohim. Her voice came to him clearly, across those long, long years. Could shestill be waiting for me? He wondered.
世钧，我要你知道，这世界上有一个人是永远等着你的，不管是什么时候，不管在什么地方，反正你知道，总有这么个人。"
世钧看到最后几句，就好象她正对着他说话似的。隔着悠悠岁月，还可以听见她的声音。他想着："难道她还在那里等着我吗？"
There was a postscript: “All that was written last night, not quiteconsciously—” The letter broke off suddenly, half the page still blank, with nodate or signature. Now he remembered that day he’d returned from Nanking. He’dgone to her office and found her writing him a letter. That’s why it wasunfinished. It all came back to him, clear as day—every little detail of theirtime together. How long ago, exactly, had they first met? Working it out, herealized it had been fourteen years since then. Fourteen years！
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