How to Speak So That People Want to Listen - Julian Treasure

What I'd like to suggest, there are a number of habits that we need to move away from.First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice habit, and we knowperfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.Second, judging. We know people who are like this in conversation, and it's very hard tolisten to somebody if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the sametime.Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life, becamevery negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1today," and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?" It's hard to listen when somebody's thatnegative.And another form of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It'sour national sport. We complain about the weather, about sport, about politics, abouteverything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine andlightness in the world.Excuses. We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some people have ablamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take responsibility fortheir actions, and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.