I want to take you back to the seventies, to the beginning of my career. I’d been around for about four, five years, working in the Fringe, working in Political Theatre.
我想带你回到七十年代，回到我职业生涯的起点。那时我在边缘艺术节和政治剧场工作了四五年。
And I decided to cut free of the companies I’d been in and of course I was months and months without work. I didn’t have an agent, I didn’t even know where to look.
我决定离开那个公司，然后我连续好几个月都没有工作。我连经纪人都没有，我甚至不知道要去哪找。
Where was a girl to do? So I worked for someone who ran a painting and decorating, interior design business.
一个女孩儿应该何去何从呢？后来我在一个做油漆、装潢、室内设计生意的人那里工作。
I’d just read this book, The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists which is about a group of painters and directors at the turn of the century, 1900’s.
我读到了《穿破裤子的慈善家》，这本书讲述的是一帮粉刷工和装修工在1900年的世纪之交发生的故事。
And I heard by word of mouth, as I was reading this book, that they were going to do a play of it and that they were auditioning for people, and I though how very appropriate that I’m doing this as a job and there’s this audition going on.
当我在读这本书的时候，我听说有人要把这本书拍成剧，并且他们正在试镜选人。我想这个角色对于正在做着这类工作的我来说是多么合适呀，而且试镜还正在进行。
This is a little story in praise of the gatekeepers, the people who we see as our enemies, we see as the Rottweilers who are going to stop us getting a job.
中间有个小插曲我要称赞门卫，（虽然）门卫被大家视为敌人，甚至视为阻止大家找工作的罗特韦尔犬。
There’s one gatekeeper who changed my life I think, called Graham Cowley. He worked at Joint Stock, now Out Of Joint.
我觉得是那个叫格雷厄姆·考利的门卫改变了我的生人生。他之前在股份公司工作，但后来那个公司倒闭了。
He was the gatekeeper for Bill Gaskill who was quite a fearsome but brilliant Director who was doing this project and because I hadn’t gone through an agent, the proper route I was reduced to ringing up, every day from a phone box, and I put my money in the coin slot *beep beep beep*
他成了比尔·加斯基尔的门卫。比尔·加斯基尔是一个很威严但很聪明的导演，就是他来拍这个剧。因为没有经纪人经手，所以我只能自己每天去电话亭打电话，并把钱放进“哔-哔-哔”的投币口。
“Hello, is that Graham again?” “Yes.” “I wonder is there any news? Is there any chance I can come and audition?” And I went on and on like this and I have never felt so pushy before or since. But I was so determined.
“喂，是格雷厄姆吗？”“是的。”“请问有什么消息吗？我有机会来试镜吗？”我就这样不停地打听，我从未感到如此地紧张迫切。不过我已经下定决心了。
I didn’t hear anything for two or three weeks and then suddenly the gatekeeper rang me up.
有两三个星期我都没有接到任何电话，然后突然那个门卫给我打电话了。
Now he didn’t need to do that, he rang me up and said Bill has seen a lot of women, he’s not really happy with any of them, he’s going to start again. Will you come in next week?
现在他不需要那样做了，他给我打电话说比尔试镜过很多女性，但没有一个令他满意的，他打算重新试镜。你下周来吗？
I went to meet Bill, dressed up to the nines, which was completely inappropriate for the part.
我精心打扮了一番去找比尔试镜，但我这身打扮完全不适合演这个角色。
Two days later, I’m with my gang of painters and decorators, and I get the call.
两天后，我正和那些粉刷工和装修工在一起时，接到了电话。
I’m there in my kitchen and I come down and I say “I got this job!” and it was after four months of really thinking I was never going to be an actress.
我从厨房走下来，大喊 “我得到这份工作了！”，而四个月前的我还在想我永远都成为不了演员。
It’s always when your absolutely rock bottom and you think it’s the end of it all, you just never know with this job. You never know.
只有当你的生活跌入谷底，当你认为一切都要完了的时候，你才能了解这个职业，否则你永远都无法了解它。
芊语观星
非常感人
林恩一一