Healthy relationships are one of the best things in the world.
健康的伴侣关系是世上再美妙不过的事情了。
They lift us up, challenge us, support us, and make us feel like we're superhuman.
良好的关系让我们奋进、鼓励我们、支持我们，让我们感到自己无所不能。
Nothing can get us down when we're in a good relationship, especially ones that are just beginning.
当伴侣关系良好时，没什么事情会令我们不开心，尤其是刚开始不久的关系。
But if you're in the beginning stages of getting to know someone, how can you tell if it really is healthy?
但如果和一个人刚建立起关系，那如何才能知道两人的关系是否健康？
Often we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we don't see when relationships are unhealthy.
我们常常会身在其中，分辨不清关系是否健康。
It might seem like a far away "it'll never happen to us" thing, but unhealthy relationships are more common than you would think, and sometimes sneak up on you.
似乎觉得有些事情离我们很遥远, “绝对不会在我们身上发生”，但是不健康的关系比想象的还要普遍，有时候，不知不觉就产生了。
If you suspect you might be in an unhealthy relationship, listen on and see if any of these match up to you and your beau.
如果你觉得自己处在不健康的关系中，那就继续听下去，看看这些问题是否存在于自己或者伴侣身上。
1. You fight a lot.
1、老吵架。
No, we don't mean arguing over who has to clean up after you've both cooked dinner.
不要误会，我指的并不是：两个人一起准备了晚餐，然后因为谁负责刷碗而争吵。
We're talking about yelling, threatening and screaming at each other.
我指的是两个人相互之间叫喊、威胁、咆哮。
If you two are getting into screaming matches over every little disagreement, you need to rethink why you two are together in the first place.
如果两人每次都因为小摩擦而大吵大闹，那就要考虑一下两人为什么当初要在一起了。
2. You hide things.
2、隐瞒。
And we don't mean candy or Easter eggs, we mean things like texting other people, lying about where you were or other dishonest actions.
并不是把糖果和复活节彩蛋藏起来，我的意思是隐瞒与他人的聊天记录，不告诉对方自己在哪，诸如此类的不诚实行为。
If your partner will get mad at you for texting your best friend forever, or going out with friends instead of staying home with them, you might just be in an unhealthy relationship.
如果你的伴侣总因为自己给最好的朋友发消息而感到十分不快，或者与朋友出门而不是陪自己在家，那你们的关系可能就不健康了。
3. This way or the highway.
3、唯我独尊。
If your relationship always revolves around how the other person wants to do things or how you want to do things, you're not in a good relationship.
如果两人之间总是围绕着一个人想做的事情打转，那这个关系就不好了。
Partnerships involve being partners.
关系是双方产生的。
This means you need to compromise, listen and discuss before actions are taken.
也就是说，双方在做一件事情之前需要相互礼让、倾听、沟通。
If it's always one person's way, you two need to sit down and sort it out before resentment and anger starts to breed.
如果老是一个人说了算，那么两个人应该在怨恨和愤怒还没有多少的时候坐下来聊聊。
4. You feel guilty.
4、感到内疚。
This one's a little harder to pin down.
这一点比较难以察觉。
Your partner might not even be aware that you're feeling this way.
你的伴侣甚至不会意识到你有这种情感。
Heck, you might not even be aware that you're feeling this way.
更糟的是，甚至你自己也意识不到。
If you get worried about taking time for yourself, or if you feel that you're not allowed to, address it with your partner.
如果你担心自己很忙，无暇顾及对方，或者感觉伴侣不太愿意，那你们需要谈一谈了。
It might be a miscommunication, or it might be a clue that your relationship isn't as healthy as you think.
这可能是因为没能很好的沟通，或者预示着你们的关系并非你认为的那么健康。
5. It's one-sided.
5、关系不平等。
So much of relationships is about sharing your burdens.
很多关系的建立都是为了让对方为自己分担一下。
When you're in a relationship, you get someone to lean on, talk about problems with and help to deal with your struggles, and vice-versa.
在一种关系中，你去依赖另一个人，倾诉自己的苦衷，让他帮你解决困难。反过来也一样。
You need to make sure you're available to be a support system for your partner, letting them lean on you when they need to.
你也要保证自己是伴侣的后盾，在他需要你的时候可以依靠。
If the relationship is based on one person or the other, it's not a real relationship.
如果一段关系仅靠一人来维持，那就不是真正的健康关系。
It's just taking advantage of someone.
那只是一方利用另一方。
6. They put you down.
6、看不起你。
We don't mean physically; we mean that they put down your hopes and don't support you and your dreams.
这不是指的物质层次；这指的是对方不在乎你的理想，不支持你，不看好你的梦。
You need someone just as brilliant as you are.
你需要一个和你一样朝气蓬勃的伴侣。
Someone who will help you achieve your goals, or at least cheer you along the way while you strive for them yourself.
有些人会帮你实现目标，或者至少是在奋斗的过程中鼓励你。
Any partner that says your goals are stupid is NOT a partner you want to have.
任何认为你的梦想是水中花的伴侣都不是对的人。
Get out, quick.
走吧，快走。
7. They refuse to do things that matter to you.
7、拒绝做你在乎的事情。
If you've said three times that you hate when the dishes sit in the sink for days on end, and your partner still doesn't change their slovenly ways, you need to get out.
如果你反复强调受不了碗筷泡在池子里好几天。但是你的伴侣又不想改掉懒散的毛病，那你还不如与他分开。
They clearly don't respect you as much as you respect them.
这些人根本无视你的尊重，也不尊重你。
If they did, they would listen to your concerns, and make an effort to do the things that matter the most to you.
如果尊重你的话，他会留心你，对你在乎的事情尝试去做。
8. You're codependent.
8、没他不行。
This one's a little trickier to identify.
这一点不太好分辨。
If you and your partner can't live without talking to each other every minute of every day, you need to reevaluate your priorities.
如果你和伴侣只要有一分钟不说话就受不了，那你需要重新考虑一下主次了。
Your relationship should be a happy addition to your life.
你们的关系应该是生活中的一个美妙点缀。
9. They make you feel insecure.
9、没有安全感。
Your significant other should make you feel like you're the greatest thing in the world.
合格的伴侣应该让你觉得自己是世界上最棒的。
Why? Because you are.
为何？因为你本来就是如此。
You're an intelligent, hard-working individual who respects yourself.
你聪明、努力，自爱。
And if your partner isn't respecting you, you need to leave them.
如果你的伴侣不尊重你，那你就选择离开。
They aren't healthy for you and you deserve better.
这种关系没什么价值，你应该有更好的关系。
If you feel insecure in any way, get yourself out.
无论怎样，如果感到了不安全，就赶紧脱离这种关系。
You're in an unhealthy relationship, and you'll be much happier without them.
因为你已经处在不健康的关系中了，没有了这样的人作为伴侣，你会更快乐。
10. They're abusive.
10、虐待。
It seems obvious, but sometimes people in relationships can't see what's actually going on.
虽然这很明显，但是身临其中，是非难辨。
They justify their partner's actions or take the blame on themselves.
他们反而觉得伴侣是对的，并把错误归咎在自己身上。
Don't!
不要这样！
If your partner is verbally, physically or sexually abusive, you need to get help and get out.
如果你的伴侣在语言上、身体上、性上虐待你，你需要寻求帮助，摆脱关系。
If you aren't sure how or if you need help, Talk to a counselor, a doctor or someone else you trust, they'll be able to get you the resources you need to take care of yourself.
如果你不知如何是好，或者需要帮助，去找法律人士、医生或者其他值得信赖的人寻求帮助，他们会给你提供帮助，你需要照顾好自己。
11. You change yourself to be what they want.
11、为了他人改变自己。
This is a subtle sign of an unhealthy relationship, but should be a big red flag.
这是不健康关系的细微征兆，不过应高度重视。
If your partner says I like blondes and you go out and dye your hair, It means your partner doesn't actually want to be with you, they want to be with their ideas.
如果你的伴侣说他喜欢金发，然后你就去染了头发，这其实就是在说，他真正喜欢的不是你，其实是想和理想中的人在一起。
Find someone who loves you for YOU.
找到爱你这个人的伴侣。
And then you'll know you're in a healthy relationship.
这样才是健康的关系。
12. You're unhappy.
12、不开心。
The biggest sign of being in an unhealthy relationship is when you're unhappy.
关系不健康最明显的征兆就是不开心。
A relationship is meant to be a positive experience.
拥有一段关系应该是一种积极向上的体验。
You're supposed to look forward to seeing your partner, not dread or stress about fitting them into your schedule.
你应该期待见到自己的伴侣，而不是与他们见面的时候感到害怕与压力。
Let the relationship go and you'll feel much happier.
放下这段感情，你会更开心。
Trust us.
相信我们。
No relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship.
单身总比一段不健康的关系要好。
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