原创： 王琼工作室 输出的力量
商务英语写作：攻克敌人 上篇
笔胜于剑，落笔无悔：点开商务英语写作的金手指。大家好，我是王参谋。今天我想分享高效商务英语写作的第五个窍门——攻克商务英语写作中的敌人。
我一共总结了十个敌人，基本属于我们在商务英语写作中常见的错误。熟悉、了解这些敌人有助于我们迅速整顿英语语法、英语的文化特点，从而让我们的写作更加规范。
具体来讲，十个敌人有：
十个敌人，我们一个一个来看：
Enemy #1
Lengthy Sentences
长句的错误
英语的句子重视衔接，不能随便将两三个简单句放在一起用逗号连接，而是需要用连接词。
Comma fault：逗点误用
例如：
The sales manager had an emergency, the meeting was canceled.
应改为
The sales manager had an emergency, and the meeting was canceled.
As the sales manager had an emergency, the meeting was canceled.
Run-on sentence：连写句：一“逗”到底，不带关联词
例如：
The company was established in 1891, the business scope is electronic appliances, it has more than 265,000 employees all over the world.
应改为
Established in 1891 and with total employees of more than 265,000 worldwide, the company has developed its business scopes in electronic appliances successfully.
举例来看：
I hope I can prepare the documents more official and professional and more persuasive, this is what I concern in writing.
For reports, write clear, complete, relevant explanations.
这些句子都违反了英语写作的要求。
Enemy #2
Sentence Fragment
句子不完整
A sentence is not complete and only with a subordinate clause. （只有从句没有主句的英语句式都是不完整的。）
Because the company is willing to spend a lot of money on new equipment.
可以补充完整，“we can sell the top-tier machines to them.”
In which you put the sales meeting minutes.
Where is the folder in which……
Looking out of the window, a plane is flying by.
这句话的分词伴随结构和主句的动作发出者不一致，称为：悬垂指示，都不符合英语写作和语法的要求。应该为：
Looking out of the window, I see a plane is flying by.
举例来看：
So, my concerns is that how to write some good business letter, technical specification, contract draft, etc. Which aspect of writing I will pay attention to.
其他的错误暂且不谈，但 “which”引导的应该是一个从句，不能单独成为一个主句。估计是因为电脑在etc.句号后面自动进行语法检查，才把 “which”大写了。
所以，写作使人精准，一定要在写完后再校对一遍。
Enemy #3
Wordy Expressions
表达冗余
图中左边的表达有以下特点：
Less economical
Redundant
Bureaucratic
Aristocratic
Oral and speech oriented
鼓励多用右边的表达，举例来看：
Due to the fact we are not working on May Day, we may put the meeting off till next Tuesday.
Until such time as my boss can give me specific instructions, I will not forward you by mail the price list.
Enemy #4
Spelling Errors
容易用错或者拼错的单词
举例来看：
as we sait in front of the office desk
such enport and export item
I think It is quite inportant for me
For my personal felling, if we want to …
Know how to wild the structure of …
Five years in information and technilogy and ……
最后一句是在一份简历中出现的错误，实在太不应该。
有一位公司高层在演讲中分享到，他看到过一位求职者的简历，标题大书两个字“病例”。
在人生最重要的文件上都出现如此重大的错误，那公司还敢把什么事情交付给他们去做呢？
所以，要做到落笔无悔，因为白纸黑字都记录下我们的细节和态度。
Enemy #5
Non-parallel Structure
非平行结构
It refers to a list of things are not written in consistent structure.
没有把结构相同、意义相关的单词、短语和分句排列在一个或几个相连的句子里。
Although the product seems appealing, the company has to consider the specific service capacities, the delivery, and what is the terms of payment.
(terms of payment)
The new secretary’s duties are filing, typing, taking phone calls and to make meeting arrangements.
(making meeting arrangements)
I like his bravery, her (his or 去除) positive outlook on life and that he is careful about details.
(his carefulness about details.)
Enemy #6
Subject and Verb Disagreement
主谓不一致/复数表达错误
A selection of her poems was/were published. (was)
To the analyst a knowledge of statistics is/are important. (is)
Forty percent of the statistics is/are wrong. (are)
Which of the two proposals has/have been accepted? (has)
Two of the proposals submitted has/have been accepted. (have)
She is one of the three youths who is/are coming to the school. (are)
中文多为性质描述，没有格数变化，所以中国同事写出的英文句子里有对复数表达不够准确的特点。举例来看：
There should be some different tone when you write to different level.
（tones，levels）
For example, when we figure out the faulty point…
（points）
I frequently contact my customer and subcontractor via E-mail, letter or fax…
（customers and subcontractors，E-mails, letters or faxes）
We should do more exercise and read some good reference material.
（exercises，materials）
笔胜于剑，落笔无悔，点开商务英语写作的金手指。
下一个部分，我再接着分享其他应该注意的英语写作的敌人。期待下一讲与你再见。
王参谋
你在英语写作中遇到过什么敌人？欢迎与我们分享。
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