光棍节生存指南 | 送给正单身的你

Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship is in our times,
在我们这个时代，任何一个独居且不渴望恋爱的人，
almost automatically,more or less secretly viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.
几乎都会自然而然地、或多或少地被悄悄视为既可怜又深陷困境的人。
It's simply not thought possible to be at once, alone and normal.
人们不可能一下子接受——独居是一种正常的生活状态。
This sets us up for collective catastrophe, because it means that a huge number of people,
这就造成了集体灾难，因为这意味着有大量的人，
who have no innate wish to live with anyone else,
他们没有与生俱来的与别人生活在一起的愿望，
and are at heart deeply ill-suited to doing so,
并被认为非常不适合与其他人生活在一起，
are every year press ganged and shamed into conjugal life with disastrous results for all involved.
每年他们被强迫结伙、羞愧地进入婚姻生活，给所有相关的人带来灾难性的后果。
Only once singlehood has completely equal prestige with its alternative can we ensure that people will be free in their choices and hence join couples for the right reasons:
只有单身生活与夫妻生活享有完全同等的地位时，我们才能确保人们能够自由选择，并因此以正确的理由成为夫妻：
because they love another person,
因为他们爱另一个人，
rather than because they are terrified of remaining single.
而不是因为他们害怕保持单身。
Here,then,are a few of the many good reasons to spend your life alone:
那么，以下是独自度过一生的几个好理由：
Because romantic love is a dangerous illusion.
因为浪漫的爱情是一种危险的幻想。
We should recognize that romantic love,
我们应该认识到，浪漫爱情，
the idea of being deeply enamored of one special partner over a whole lifetime,
一辈子都深深地迷恋着一个特别的伴侣，
is a very new, ambitious and really pretty odd concept,
这是一个全新的、雄心勃勃的、非常奇怪的概念，
at best 250 years old.
此概念产生至今最多只有250年。
From close-up,over long periods of time,
我们仔细来看，在很长一段时间里，
almost everyone is condemned to be pretty dispiriting and difficult.
几乎每个人都注定是相当沮丧和困难的。
A good romantic marriage is evidently theoretically possible,
一个好的浪漫婚姻在理论上显然是可能的，
but it's also be extremely unlikely in practice,
但在实际生活中也是极不可能的，
which should make any failure feel a good deal less shameful.
这应该让任何婚姻不顺的人不会感到那么羞耻。
No one thinks their partner is terrific - after a while.
一段时间之后，没有人认为他们的伴侣是完美的。
Those among us who chose to stay single should not be thought un-romantic.
我们当中那些选择单身的人不应该被认为是不浪漫的。
Indeed, we may be among the very most romantic of all,
的确，我们可能是最浪漫的人之一，
because it is in the end the fervent romantics who should be especially careful of ending up in mediocre relationships:
因为归根结底，热情的浪漫主义者应该特别谨慎，避免婚姻陷入平庸的关系之中：
relationships best suit the kind of people who don't actually expect too much from them.
婚姻生活最适合那些实际上对他们自己没有太高期望的人。
We aren't sane enough to be in relationships.
在恋爱生活中，我们不会足够理智。
Though it is a sign of some maturity to know how to love and live alongside someone,
虽然知道如何去爱一个人并与之生活在一起是一种成熟的标志，
it is actually a sign of even greater maturity to recognise that this is something one isn't in the end going to be psychologically capable of - as a good portion of us simply are not.
但如果我们认识到，爱一个人并与之生活在一起是一个人最终在心理上无法做到的事情，而且很大一部分人都根本无法做到——这实际上是一种更成熟的标志。
Retiring oneself voluntarily, in order to save others (and oneself) from the consequences of one's own inner emotional turmoil is the true sign of a great and kind soul.
为了使他人（和自己）免遭自己内在情感动荡的后果而自愿退出，这是一个伟大而善良的灵魂的真正标志。
Being alone means not inflicting yourself on others.
独自一人意味着不向别人施加压力。
It spares you from constant reminders of how difficult and strange you are.
它让你不必经常想起你是多么困难和奇怪。
No one is there to hold a mirror up – record your antics and constantly make you accountable for them.
没有人能举起镜子——记录下你的滑稽动作，并不断让你对它们负责。
If you're lucky,
如果幸运的话，
you will be able to tolerate and even like yourself if you are on your own.
恰好你也选择了独居，你将能够忍受甚至喜欢自己。
Relationships spoil love.
恋爱会毁了爱情。
It may be better to feel alone and be denied sex outside of a relationship than inside one.
处于恋爱关系之外的孤独和被拒绝性生活的感觉可能要比恋爱带来的诸如此类的感觉要好一些。
One thing the single are never denied,is hope.
单身永不拒绝的一样东西就是希望。
All this isn't to say that being alone is without problems.
这并不是说单身是没有问题的。
There are of course drawbacks to both states,
这两种状态当然都有缺点，
being single and being in a couple: loneliness in the one;
一种状态是单身，一种状态是夫妻生活：单身状态会感到孤独；
suffocation,anger and frustration in the other.
夫妻生活会感到窒息、愤怒和沮丧。
The truth is,we're simply not terribly good at being happy whatever our relationship status.
事实是，无论我们处于哪种状态，我们都不太擅长快乐。
Which is ultimately an argument for neither rushing too fast into a couple,
这最终是一个争论，既不要盲目冲进夫妻关系中，
nor rushing too fast out of one.
也不能盲目脱离一段关系。