声音简介
If you work to understand what job you are being hired to do, both professionally and in your personal life, the payoff will be enormous. In fact, it is here that this theory yields the most insight,simply because one of the most important jobs you'll ever be hired to do is to be a spouse. Getting this right I believe, is critical to sustaining a happy marriage.
Just as we learned in our research about the jobs that school students are trying to do, I'll describe in the subsequent pages how this framing can impact our marriages and relationships. To economize on words, I've framed the first person with masculine pronouns and adjectives, and used feminine words for the spouse. But they can be swapped around without changing the meaning at all-the concepts apply equally to everyone.
Like those milkshake buyers, you and your wife can't always articulate what the fundamental jobs are that you each are personally trying to do, let alone articulate the fundamental jobs that your wife has, for which she might hire a husband to get done. Understanding the job requires the critical ingredients of intuition and empathy.You have to be able to put yourself not just in her shoes,but her chair—and indeed, her life.More important,the jobs that your spouse is trying to do are often very different from the jobs that you think she should want to do.
你受雇做什么工作的？
如果你努力去理清你需要解决什么问题，无论是在职业上还是在你的个人生活中，回报都是巨大的。事实上，在这点上，这是个见解深刻的理论，你人生最重要的角色就是成为配偶。我相信，扮演好这个角色对维持幸福的婚姻至关重要。
正如我们研究学校学生一样，我将在接下来的几页中描述这个理论框架如何影响我们的婚姻和各种关系。为了缩短篇幅，第一人称用阳性代词和形容词，用阴性词来表示配偶。但是它们可以互换意义完全不会改变——这些概念适用每个人。
像那些买奶昔的人一样，你和你的妻子不是总能清楚地说出你们各自的职责，更不用说你能清楚你妻子的哪些方面，她需要丈夫帮忙完成。做到这点的关键因素是直觉和同理心。你不仅要能设身处地为她的某些方面着想，还要能设身处地为她的方方面面着想，甚至是她的全部生活着想。更重要的是，你配偶想解决的问题通常与你认为她应该做的事情完全不同。
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