声音简介
This may sound counter intuitive, but I deeply believe that the path to happiness in a relationship is not just about finding someone who you think is going to make you happy.Rather, the reverse is equally true: the path to happiness is about finding someone who you want to make happy,someone whose happiness is worth devoting yourself to.If what causes us to fall deeply in love is mutually understanding and then doing each other's job to be done,then I have observed that what cements that commitment is the extent to which I sacrifice myself to help her succeed and for her to be happy.
This principle—that sacrifice deepens our commitment doesn't just work in marriages.It applies to members of on family and close friends, as well as organizations and even cultures and nations.
For illustration,let me offer you the example of the Us Marines,who achieve a deep sense of attachment to the organization,to their peers,and to their country.But not because it is fun—surviving Marine Corps training alone may be one of the hardest challenges of many young Marines' lives to that point.The job almost kills them.They sacrifice so much for the corps and their fellow Marines.But you can routinely see “Semper Fi”— Always Faithful— bumper stickers on car all over America.
牺牲和承诺
这听起来可能与直觉相反，但我深深相信，一段关系中通往幸福的道路不仅仅是找到一个你认为会让你幸福的人。相反，同样,通往幸福的道路是找到一个你想让他幸福的人，一个值得你为他付出的人。如果说让我们深深相爱的原因是相互理解，然后各司其职，我觉察到，巩固这种承诺的是我牺牲自己来帮助她成功，让她幸福的程度。
这个原则——牺牲加深我们的承诺不仅仅适用于婚姻。它也适用于家庭成员和亲密朋友，以及组织，甚至文化和国家。
举例来说， 比如一个美国海军陆战队，队员们对组织、同龄人和国家有着深深的依恋。但这并不是因为有趣——靠的是许多年轻海军陆战队员一生中最艰难的挑战之一：生存救援训练。这份工作几乎要了他们的命。他们为海军陆战队和他们的战友牺牲一切。但是你可以在美国各地的汽车保险杠上看到“永远忠诚”的贴纸。
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