声音简介
Denying children the opportunity to develop their processes is not the only way outsourcing has damaged their capabilities, either. There is something far more important at risk when we outsource too much of our lives: our values.
Not long ago, I was complimenting a friend on how his children had turned into such terrific adults.He and his wife (I'll call them Jim and Norma) had raised a wonderful family. Each of their five children turned out to be very different from one another.But all of them were successful in their careers,had chosen wonderful spouses,and were now raising children of their own,each in different parts of the country.
I asked Jim and Norma about how they had raised such great children. Of all the gems of wisdom that they shared with me, this insight, from Norma, stood out:“When the kids come home for a family reunion,I like to listen to their banter back and forth about the experiences they had growing up,and which had the greatest impact on their lives.I typically have no memory of the events they recall as being important.And when I ask them about the times when Jim and I sat them down specifically to share what we thought were foundationally important values of our family, well, the kids have no memory of any of them. I guess the thing to learn from this is that children will learn when they are ready to learn, not when we're ready to teach them.”
当孩子们准备好学习的时候，他们就会学习
剥夺孩子们发展自己流程的机会也不是外包损害他们能力的唯一方式。当我们把太多的生活外包出去时，有更重要的东西处于危险之中:我们的价值观。
前不久，我称赞一个朋友，培养孩子成为了不起的人。他和他的妻子/(我称他们为吉姆和诺玛/)拥有一个美满的家庭。他们的五个孩子各不相同。但都事业成功，伴侣优秀，住在国内不同的地方，也有了自己的孩子。
我问吉姆和诺玛是如何培养出这么优秀的孩子的。在他们与我分享的所有智慧瑰宝中，来自诺玛的这一见解最为突出:“当孩子们回家与家人团聚时，我喜欢听他们来来回回地开玩笑式地讲他们成长中的经历，以及对他们的生活影响最大的经历。我都想不起他们有什么重要的事件。当我，吉姆和他们坐下来，专门来分享我们认为对我们家庭至关重要的价值观的时候，孩子们都没有任何记忆。我想从这件事中明白了，孩子们会在他们准备好学习的时候学习，而不是在我们准备好教他们的时候学习。
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