Console them for failures_Susan三叶草_免费在线阅读收听下载

This can be difficult for parents to do. So much of our society's culture is focused on trying to build self-esteem in children by never letting them lose a game, giving them accolades simply for trying their best, and constantly receiving feedback from teachers or coaches that never requires them to think about whether they can do better.From a very young age, many of our children who participate in sports come to expect medals,trophies,or ribbons at the end of a season—simply for participating.Those medals and awards end up in a pile in a corner of their bedroom over the years and quickly become meaningless to those kids.They haven't really learned anything from them.
In some ways,the awards are really for the parents-it is often we who get the most out of seeing the accumulation of medals and ribbons. It sure feels better to congratulate our kids on their achievements than it does to console them for a tough failure.In fact,it's very tempting for many parents to step in to ensure that their child is always succeeding.But what are they getting from that?
When I worked with Boy Scouts over the years, I always wanted the kids to take responsibility for organizing their own camping trips rather than letting the parents step in to do it. When they had to do it themselves, they learned how to plan and organize, how to divide responsibilities, how to communicate among a group,and to appreciate what they'd actually put their own work into.
对父母来说可能很难做到。社会的大部分文化都致力于培养孩子的自尊，不让他们输掉一场比赛，仅仅因为他们尽了最大努力就给予表扬，我们不断收到老师或教练的反馈，但是这些反馈从不要求他们考虑自己是否能做得更好。从很小的时候起，许多参加体育运动的孩子就开始期待在一个赛季结束时获得奖牌、奖杯或丝带——仅仅是为了参与。这些奖章和奖励在孩子的卧室角落里堆积多年，对他们来说很快变得毫无意义。他们并没有真正从中学到什么。
从某些方面来说，这些奖项其实是给父母的——往往是我们从奖牌和丝带的堆积中获益最多。祝贺孩子取得的成就肯定比安慰他们一次艰难的失败感觉更好。事实上，对许多父母来说，介入以确保他们的孩子总是成功是非常诱人的。但是孩子从中得到了什么呢？
这些年，我在童子军工作，我总是希望孩子们自己负责组织野营，而不是让父母插手。当他们不得不自己做时，他们学会了如何计划和组织，如何划分责任，如何在团队中交流，以及欣赏他们自己的投入。

Console them for failures

Console them for failures

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