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CHAPTER NINE
The Invisible Hand Inside Your Family
Most of us have—or had— an idyllic image of what our families would be like. The children will be well-behaved,they'll adore and respect us, we'll enjoy spending time together, and they'll make us proud when they
are off in the world without us by their side.
And yet,as any experienced parent will tell you,wishing for that kind of family and actually having that kind of family are two very different things.One of the most powerful tools to enable us to close the gap between the family we want and the family we get is culture.We need to understand how it works and be prepared to put in the hard yards to influence how it is shaped.
When the Chariot Goes Over the Hill
As parents,we share a common worry:one day, our children are going to be faced with a tough decision...and we are not going to be there to make sure they do the right thing.They're going to get on a plane and fly to a far-flung country with their friends. Or get to college and see a chance to cheat on a test. Perhaps they'll face a decision whether to choose to be kind to a complete stranger— to do something that will make a huge difference in that person's life. All we can do is hope that somehow we've raised them well enough that they come to the right conclusion by themselves.
第九章
你家庭中看不见的手
我们大多数人都有——或者曾经有过——一幅田园诗般的家庭画面。孩子们很乖，并且崇拜和尊重我们，我们享受在一起的时光。他们自己在外面闯荡，我们不在他们身边，为此我们骄傲。
然而，有经验的父母都会告诉你，希望有这样的家庭和真正拥有这样的家庭是两码事。能够弥合这两者之间的差距的最有力的工具之一是文化。我们需要了解它是如何运作的，然后打好基础以此影响它的形成。
当战车越过山丘时
作为父母，我们有一个共同的担忧:有一天，我们的孩子将面临一个艰难的决定...我们不在他们身边，确保他们做正确的事情。他们打算和朋友一起乘飞机去一个遥远的国家。或者上了大学，看到考试作弊的机会。也许他们将面临一个决定，是否选择善待一个完全陌生的人——做一些将会对那个人的生活产生巨大影响的事情。我们所能做的就是希望我们已经把他们培养得足够好，让他们自己得出正确的结论。

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

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